You probably think that I’m going to say that the biggest problems with being over thirty and single are things like: your clock is ticking, there are not enough eligible men or women out there, or online dating is for the birds. But I’m not. You see, most of the things I just listed are opportunities and not problems. The biggest problem with being over thirty and single is YOU. Yes…YOU!
And when I say you…I also include myself in that count because I just joined the Over Thirty and Single club myself. I’ve started to have moments when I feel “old” in regards to where I’d like to be in life. And I’m not alone, as I’ve met amazing men and women who’ve shared their stories with me about what it meant to walk this single life in their late twenties to early forties.
From anxiety about turning 30 to testimony on feeling better than ever in their later years, it reminded me so much about how much pressure we can put on ourselves when it comes to ageing and being in love. Some singles feel that after being an adult for so long that it’s just the “right time” to be married. And when we don’t make it to the altar by a certain age, we feel forgotten or like we’ve missed our timing to achieve that desire in our hearts. Your Deadlines Mean Nothing.
To be content in your singleness as you get older, refrain from looking at your age as a deadline in your life, marriage by this age, kids by this age, and the list of these deadlines can go on. I remember doing that in my twenties, thinking that being single at age 30 was a sign of failure or missing out on something. I can tell you now that I am not missing anything, I am whole because of my identity in Christ (Colossians 2:9-10) and because I’m still living.
If you find yourself sweating at the thought of heading towards another milestone year or decade of life as a single person, then ask yourself this: Where did these negative thoughts come from?
For me, it was family and societal pressures that made it seem like being single in my thirties would make me inadequate because Mr Right hadn’t shown up yet. So, I have to change the messages that I keep repeating in my head, in my heart and over my life. Am I going to say: “Woe is me.” or ” I’m walking in my best years ever.” The choice is yours too! Timing And Age Are Two Different Things.