First dates can be both exciting and nerve-wracking. They are an opportunity to get to know someone new, explore potential connections, and hopefully, lay the foundation for a meaningful relationship. However, in the quest to impress or be honest, it’s crucial to be mindful of what you say. Certain topics and statements can be a major turn-off and might even ruin your chances of a second date. In this article, we’ll explore some things you should never say on a first date to ensure a more enjoyable and successful experience.
- Your Ex’s Name
One of the quickest ways to kill the mood on a first date is by bringing up your ex-partner. Mentioning your past relationships, especially in detail, can send a signal that you’re not ready to move on or that you’re comparing your date to someone else. Keep the focus on the present moment and your potential future together.
- Negative Comments About Family
While it’s natural to have disagreements or issues with family members, discussing them on a first date can create a negative impression. Avoid criticizing or complaining about your family, as it can make you come across as someone who carries emotional baggage.
- Financial Problems
Money matters are sensitive topics, and it’s generally not a good idea to discuss your financial difficulties on a first date. Whether it’s debt, unemployment, or financial stress, save these conversations for when you’ve built a more substantial connection. Instead, focus on lighthearted topics that allow you both to get to know each other’s interests and hobbies.
- Personal Health Issues
While it’s important to be open and honest in a relationship, a first date may not be the best time to disclose intimate details about your health issues or medical history. Keep the conversation positive and upbeat, and save these discussions for when you have established more trust and rapport.
- Personal Criticisms
Self-deprecating humour can be endearing in small doses, but constantly putting yourself down or highlighting your flaws can make your date feel uncomfortable or even be responsible for boosting your self-esteem. Be confident and show your best self without resorting to self-criticism.
- Controversial Beliefs and Politics
Debates about politics, religion, or other controversial topics should generally be avoided on a first date. These discussions can become heated and polarizing, potentially creating unnecessary tension. It’s okay to touch on these subjects lightly, but if you sense any discomfort, quickly change the topic.
- Overly Personal Questions
Respect your date’s boundaries by avoiding overly personal questions. Inquiring about their income, relationship history, or sexual preferences is not appropriate for a first meeting. Focus on getting to know each other’s interests, hobbies, and life experiences.
- Marriage and Kids
Discussing your desire to get married or have children can be intimidating on a first date. It’s essential to gauge your date’s feelings on these subjects gradually as your relationship develops. Rushing into discussions about long-term commitments can be overwhelming.
- Complaints About the Date Itself
Even if your date isn’t going as expected, resist the urge to complain about it during the date. Complaining about the restaurant, the weather, or anything else can come across as ungrateful and negative. Stay positive and try to enjoy the moment.
- Avoid Negativity
Never bring your bad mood to a first date. Emotions are contagious and when you talk about your horrible day at work or how you’ve had an exhausting week, your date will pick up on your negativity and begin to feel upset as well. This also applies to any negative current events. Remember, you’re on a date to explore a new relationship; you should be excited to discover all of the awesome things about the person and what you share in common with them.
- Hide Your Insecurities
When we’re nervous, we sometimes add a lot of qualifiers to our statements like “kinda,” “maybe,” “sorta,” “I guess so.” If you’re one of the people who does this, you need to practice removing those phrases from your conversations. Not only does saying them make you sound uncertain, but using those words on a first date reduces the strength of connection that you and your partner feel. The uncertainty in those statements translates into both of you feeling unsure if you’ve made a genuine connection and it can ruin your chances of a second date.
First dates are an opportunity to make a positive impression and lay the foundation for a potential relationship. By avoiding certain topics and statements, you can increase your chances of a successful and enjoyable date. Focus on getting to know your date, share positive experiences, and let the connection develop naturally. Remember that open communication and respect for boundaries are key to building a strong foundation for any relationship.