I want a man that will provide all my needs. Take care of me and my family. Lavish me with all his wealth! I also want a woman I can control, control is love and submission for me! Many a time, people entre relationships with too many expectations and when the expectations aren’t met, then disappointment sets in! Party A got his wife a car, a Range Rover, I don’t even have a Daewoo Matiz; so once the partner can’t provide, problems set in. it is good to have expectations, Yes! But be in range.

I strongly believe no one meets a partner today and marries the next day! That’s impossible. When entering into a relationship with someone, we study them, possibly their strength and weaknesses. You very much know that we all differ from each other so how then do you expect your partner to be like the other person’s partner? We must always be content with what and who we have as partners.

If you ever feel the person isn’t good enough for you, it’s better to leave than holding on, thereby mounting unnecessary pressure on the other party to fulfil your expectation. Others also enter a relationship with very wrong notions or perceptions. For instance, a person that enters a relationship with their partner for money.

A relationship like this starts on a wrong footing, a bad foundation will collapse! By this foundation, one’s interest is monitory and any other thing means nothing. This is a recipe for a breakup. Sometimes, wanting a partner with six-packs, dark, fair, short, tall, big butt, boobs, curvy, will or can lead to a breakup. People even decide to be with their partners for the achievement and even family background and wealth.

That is also a recipe for disaster, relationships go deeper than these qualities. Again, the mind-set of either working it out or not can also break the relationship, relationship is work! Its commitment and also a decision. If the partners involved have the same mind-set that we want to make it work regardless, it will work.

A relationship without communication will collapse, in the morning communicate, in the afternoon communicate and also in the evening. No communication mean conflict, that’s a recipe for break up. Communication must be the foundation the relationship is built on. Unresolved issues will break a relationship. External forces, when introduced into a relationship can break the relationship apart. Being with a man whose mum is constantly interfering will ruin your home. Bible says a man will leave and cleave! Sometimes people’s parents are so attached, not just physically but also spiritually and emotionally. These bonds are hard to break. Attitude, character, charisma, plays a role.

The lack or absence of these things can ruin a relationship, a woman must submit for a man to love her. Loving a man means respect, so where there is no respect, disaster will happen. Lack of consideration is also another issue, partners must be considerate towards each other. Always assuming, interpreting or reading meanings into issues without clarifications in also another issue.

Trust is a major key in a relationship, when absent, a recipe for disaster. When people ignore the God factor in the relationship it means a problem. Making sin a priority is a dangerous tool to destroy a relationship. The relationship must be based on love, commitment, trust, transparency, God factor and more concretely, building friendship.

As mentioned earlier, the relationship is work, and getting too comfortable can lead to disaster. A lot of people start relationships with a lot of fire and begging to digress along the way. When other or both partners get to the point where no one gives serious attention to the relationship, it collapses.

Being selfish won’t help, always expecting your partner to be giving in their best in all these and you always at the receiving end will kill the love in the relationship. After all, these have been said and done, we must deal with our selves, taking time to know ourselves, building values for our lives and making sure that we don’t become a liabilities for our partners.

Written by: © Benjamin Freshhope Mensah


  1. Interesting and true piece. Thanks Benjamin! Your write ups are inspiring!

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