The pressure to marry and have children in African society is immense as if it guarantees happiness. Ironically, many of those urging the youth to marry are unhappy in their own marriages. This societal pressure also extends to opportunities for financial independence, as people are often reluctant to support others in achieving success. Instead, they are quick to offer advice that might lead to replicating their own unhappiness.
“Many young people have ignored this advice to their own detriment. Some have taken out large loans to organize extravagant weddings just to satisfy societal expectations. They have thrown elaborate events, spent on magnificent decorations, and cooked various foods for strangers who may not even care for them.”
After everyone has gone and completely forgotten about them, they spend several years trying to repay the loan they used for a one-day wedding event. They now realize the difference between a wedding and marriage. A wedding is that single day when most people make foolish expenses, marriage is the rest of the life you will be living together paying the bills and raising children.
Marriage is primarily an economic decision rather than an emotional one. Love alone is not sufficient. Raising children is expensive in the 21st century. Diapers, school fees, and healthcare all come at a high cost, and there’s no guarantee of a return on your investment. With the current economic crisis, the prices of goods and services have increased by nearly 100%, while salaries have remained the same.
There is a saying that love is blind but marriage will open your eyes. If you are not financially stable you might want to tread with caution. Get yourself a good job, start a business, engage in any self-development endeavour that will make you financially stable and then you can begin to think of settling down.
Society doesn’t care about you, society will not lift a finger to help you if you are in dire need, and society will not pay your rent, your bills or medical expenses. Society especially the African society is only generous when you die, they will come to the funeral and make generous contributions to give you a befitting burial but once you are alive you are fully responsible for fighting your own battles.
If you decide to marry, choose someone who you think you can build a decent life with, someone who can support your business or your career objectives, someone who can help you move from point A to point B. Choose a partner who you know is determined to strive for a brighter future.
“Love is not enough. Physical attributes like beauty, body shape, hips, and breasts may become less important when the challenges of marriage become apparent. You may realize that the societal expectations you aim to meet don’t truly care about your well-being. Marriage is a significant commitment and should be based on practical considerations rather than just emotions. While love can be blind, marriage can bring clarity. Choose wisely.”
