Gen Z is significantly reshaping the modern dating landscape as they navigate connections online and through dating apps, all while considering a new set of values and priorities. Many individuals in younger generations are dealing with mental health challenges and questioning traditional social norms, which contributes to their more open-minded and thoughtful approach to redefining conventional relationship expectations. In fact, there are certain qualities that Gen Z desires in a partner that previous generations, like baby boomers, might view as basic requirements. This shift occurs because Gen Z is focused on cultivating and prioritizing different types of connections and commitments in their dating lives.
From being open-minded about experimentation to adopting less singularly exclusive relationships and even embracing singlehood, Gen Z’s priorities are clearly much different from their older counterparts when it comes to settling down or investing time in a romantic partner. Here are 11 things Gen Z would love to get from a partner that boomers see as a bare minimum
1. Loyalty
Gen Zers are navigating a dating landscape marked by “choice overload,” with numerous prospective partners and the vastness of dating apps. Given this context, it’s not surprising that they desire a sense of loyalty from their partners. While many Gen Zers are open to “friends-with-benefits” arrangements or non-exclusive relationships, they still seek loyalty and reliability, even in these seemingly casual intimate connections. In contrast, baby boomers tend to avoid labels of singlehood and are less inclined to engage in committed relationships. Therefore, it’s understandable that they view loyalty as a baseline requirement in the exclusive relationships they pursue.
2. Being posted about on social media
Social media and the Internet are essential for many members of Generation Z, helping them find community, connect with friends, and even secure professional careers. This strong online presence is reflected in their evolving relationship expectations and values. Unlike Baby Boomers, who might openly post about their significant others or share photos together, Gen Z often considers this type of sharing a rite of passage. According to a survey by the McKinsey Health Institute, over 50% of Gen Z individuals view social media as a source of genuine self-expression and social connectivity. In their relationships, social media plays a similarly crucial role, often helping to affirm the stability of a relationship by sharing it with an important online community.
3. Friendship
Marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo states that Generation Z places a high value on friendships, often as much as, if not more than, their romantic relationships. This preference stems from the companionship, emotional support, and loyalty that friendships provide, which many in Gen Z seek in their social lives. Additionally, younger generations are increasingly embracing unconventional relationship types, such as “friends with benefits.” This makes it understandable that friendship is something Gen Z looks for in a partner, whereas baby boomers tend to view it as a basic expectation.
Experts from Medigap note that baby boomers are much more family-oriented than other age groups, focusing on building and maintaining relationships that align with this deep-seated value. Their intimate relationships, painting with a broad stroke, are intended to be a reflection of the belonging and community they yearn for as a family unit, while Gen Zers are more interested in building an individual foundation where intimate relationships are a perk.
4. Authenticity
Authenticity is the most important value for Gen Z, according to an EY survey. This value influences various aspects of their lives, from building their identity and pursuing hobbies to seeking community and establishing relationships. While baby boomers may consider being true to oneself and finding a partner who expresses authenticity as basic expectations in relationships, Gen Zers face unique challenges. The overwhelming influence of social media, societal norms, and high expectations can make it difficult to be genuine, especially if one does not maintain a healthy relationship with oneself.
Combating social pressures and norms that sabotage true genuineness, Gen Zers can’t help but yearn for authenticity, trying to challenge traditional standards that suppress their true self-expression or identity in their personal and social lives.
5. Feeling heard
Although many Gen Zers are dedicated to emotional intelligence and personal growth, they often prioritize instant gratification over developing essential communication skills like active listening amidst the chaos of their daily lives.
Feeling heard is foundational to building healthy and productive relationships. According to a study published in PLOS One, it’s not surprising that many young people long for others to listen to them, yet they struggle to reciprocate that attention. While baby boomers identify active listening and feeling genuinely heard as crucial components of their intimate relationships, Gen Zers often have difficulty finding connections where they feel valued. As a result, they may end up pursuing misguided dating ideals that focus on love-bombing, people-pleasing, and seeking instant gratification through casual relationships.
6. Quality in-person time together
Many Gen Zers struggle with social anxiety and feeling isolated from their communities, according to experts from the National Social Anxiety Center. This is largely due to societal pressures and the rise of social media in their daily lives. While social anxiety is primarily a personal and emotional challenge, these pressures can also undermine the health of their relationships. As a result, Gen Zers may yearn for quality in-person time and affection, even as they grapple with anxiety about engaging in such interactions.
In contrast, baby boomers, who grew up before the advent of social media and online connections, tend to view in-person relationships based on quality time as a fundamental expectation rather than something to actively desire. While it’s essential to maintain a balance of online communication, personal time, and in-person interactions for the well-being of any relationship, it is noteworthy that Gen Zers often long for in-person connection in ways that baby boomers see as the bare minimum.
7. Comfort growing together
In today’s world, many young people feel pressured by the idea that they must be 100% healed, healthy, and self-aware—whatever that means—to have a successful romantic relationship. It’s not surprising that one of the things Gen Z values in a partner is the ability to feel comfortable and supported while growing together. This contrasts with the perspective of older generations, like baby boomers, who may see this as the bare minimum.
As young adults navigate the stresses of adulthood, professional careers, and socioeconomic challenges, having a partner who is willing to grow both within the relationship and as an individual can create a safe and nurturing environment. This dynamic can alleviate the pressure to be “the perfect partner,” allowing both individuals to thrive together.
8. Feeling like a priority
Although Gen Z and baby boomers have vastly different views on the concept of a romantic “happily-ever-after,” they both desire to feel loved, heard, and valued by their partners, friends, and peers. It’s human nature to want to feel like a priority to those we care about. However, since Gen Z tends to engage in more casual, short-term relationships compared to their boomer counterparts, many of them may be missing out on the commitment and deep emotional support that a traditional relationship naturally provides.
Like many of the other things Gen Z would love to get from a partner that boomers see as bare minimum, feeling like a priority can manifest itself in subtle behaviors, but for Gen Zers spending most of their time ruminating on early stages in relationships, navigating online communication, and trying to convey authenticity amid societal pressures, picking these moments out can be a challenge.
9. Deep conversations
According to experts from Lebanon Valley College, Gen Zers are largely struggling with prioritizing deep and meaningful conversations in their relationships as they grapple with collective fears of social anxiety and rejection, but that doesn’t mean they’re not yearning for this kind of social connection in their personal lives.
While baby boomers certainly experience individual stressors about dating and cultivating healthy relationships, they’ve largely side-stepped the anxieties Gen Z struggles with as a result of growing up offline. Practice makes perfect — considering baby boomers were able to navigate the dating landscape and learn to build romantic connections outside the scope of the internet, they’re also well-versed in offline communication, in-person quality time, and social interactions that help to bolster this need.
10. Digital detachment
Many Gen Z individuals are increasingly seeking to disconnect from social media in their relationships, despite facing social anxiety and fears of rejection in face-to-face situations. A survey from The Harris Poll found that while most Gen Z respondents wish social media didn’t exist, many still spend a significant amount of time online. They use social platforms to meet new people, build communities, and engage in doomscrolling. Although these platforms offer a sense of comfort, they can also be unsatisfying and contribute to anxiety when it comes to dating and forming romantic connections.
For baby boomers who grew up, started dating, and even solidified long-term relationships before social media existed, it’s not entirely surprising that committing to digital detachment and prioritizing in-person quality time is one of the things Gen Z would love to get from a partner that boomers see as bare minimum.
11. Consistently planned dates
According to couples counselor Kari Rusnak, partners who consistently go on planned date nights often cultivate healthier relationships than those who don’t. Of course, quality time looks different for every couple — it doesn’t always have to be a date night — but having a partner who shows their spouse that they’re a priority by consistently planning time together can be productive for bolstering trust.
While planned date nights are one of the things Gen Z would love to get from a partner that boomers see as a bare minimum, they’re largely a traditional social norm that many young people aren’t necessarily prioritizing. Whether it’s social anxiety barriers from online connections, financial obstacles, or new-age relationship expectations, many Gen Zers romanticize things like getting flowers or going on a date that older generations view as a necessity from the early stages of their romantic partnerships.
