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Don’t say too much, study your partner for a while before doing so

First Date

Relationship coach Miss Constance Exornam shared insights on the importance of understanding one’s partner before discussing sensitive topics. During a panel discussion titled “Starting a new relationship: What to reveal and how to do it,” Miss Exornam emphasized the impact of past experiences on relationships. She noted that while it’s vital to acknowledge and learn from these experiences, dwelling on them can impede personal and relational growth.

“I believe that it’s best to let the past stay in the past,” she said. “We’re focusing on the present and looking forward to the future. So, let’s leave the past where it belongs.” She talked about the importance of open communication in relationships and also mentioned how crucial it is to consider timing and sensitivity when sharing personal information.”

“You have to open up, but I think to be able to open up to that level, you should have known the person for a while,” she explained. I acknowledged the diversity in how individuals process information, which can impact how they react to personal disclosures, she said.

“We process information differently. The way I’d open up to you about something and you’d take it as a mature person, someone else might take it differently,” she said. In this context, she stressed the significance of observing and comprehending a partner’s maturity level before discussing certain topics.

“So you’ll study the person you’re with for a while, understand the person’s maturity level before you open up on certain topics or issues because they’re very sensitive, and they’re likely to process it. “And it can make or break whatever friendship or relationship you’re trying to build,” she stated.

Miss Exornam also touched on the issue of discussing past relationships, particularly regarding the concept of “body count.” She noted that while some individuals may not be concerned about their partner’s past, others might find it significant. “There are some, you’ll have to tell them, but before you tell them, give it time. Study the person; “If I open up on this issue, how is the person going to take it?”

She emphasized that timing and understanding play a pivotal role in how partners react to sensitive information. “Some people will receive the shock and then after a while, it fades off with more love and compassion. Others will receive the shock and then, they start making their decisions.”

Meanwhile, she advocated for honesty in relationships but also advised caution. “Don’t open up to your partner entirely – the things that you think or believe that if the person should find out, it might take a toll on them, you can open up on that one but before you do, study them for a while.”

 

Gideon Afful Amoako

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