I am not happy in my marriage, my husband doesn’t treat me right. Akosua’s husband is very loving, he opens even car doors for her to enter while my husband just looks on, expecting me to open and sit inside myself. Why can’t my husband be like Akosua’s husband? Only if my husband will treat me well. Many marriages have suffered and still suffering because of comparison and discontentment.
This problem isn’t just in marriage, it is found in platonic relationships too. One thing people must know and accept is that we are all different people in this life, we all view things from different standpoints. But it doesn’t mean that the other’s own is bad. Many relationships are suffering today because the persons involved haven’t come to terms with who they are and what they are up to. Comparing your partner and relationship to other people’s own can be very frustrating.
There are so many hidden things or secrets in every marriage or relationship, what we see on the outside may be very deceptive. Many people look happy on the outside but truly, they are pained on the inside. A lot of people today are comparing their relationships to what and things they see on social media and telenovelas. Today, many people live different kinds of life, some couples have a different life at home, portray another on social media, another church and what have you.
Many people just put up a show on social media to get people feeling and thinking their relationships are perfect and rosy. Do you know there are a lot of relationships, especially marriages, where the couples actually look a couple on the outside, yet just flatmates in the homes? Did you also know there are relationships where the couples are at each other’s throats, yet smiling on the outside?
Did you also know that, there are a lot more relationships and marriages that are abusive and broken, yet appear “ok” on the outside? Most often than not, your relationship, where you feel your man doesn’t pamper you like the way the other couple do each other may even be the envy of many. Everyone has a way of expressing their love to their partner, so just because your wife doesn’t do things the way your friend or neighbour’s wife does it, doesn’t mean your wife isn’t sweet.
Verily, there are common things that everyone in love must exhibit it on both sides. Of course, every partner must show love, care, attention, trust, loyalty and what have you in their relationship. When these are absent, you know the relationship will suffer. But let us take time to study and know our partners well, when we compare our partners to others, we will never find joy! Not in our partners! Neither in the marriage or relationship.
We must learn as people to enjoy every second in our relationships, every relationship has its seasons. We must learn to embrace it when it comes. We are all faced with the same devil but in different forms and ways. This is to say every relationship or marriage has its battles, let us be content with our relationships. Our ability to make each other happy in the relationship is dependent on we appreciate our partners.
When situations change in the lives of our partners, either from work health or anywhere else, let us still learn to accept it as a face and still love and be content with our partner. We have to stop comparing our beautiful, messy, average moments with someone else’s picture of a perfect relationship. All it does is leave us with the thought that our relationship doesn’t measure up and that we are lacking. Cherish what you have more and you can go through every face well. Let’s find or derive the good in all circumstances.
As a matter of fact, there is a lesson and a blessing attached to all we go through, let us download whatever massage there may be in all that we go through in our relationships. Let us also know that, there is something good in everyone, your partner may not be sufficient or lacking in one area but will surely be good in another. Let’s celebrates the good in our partners and work on the bad together.
Let us be willing to learn from each other. Every marriage is unique, goes through different faces, and let’s not forget, the bible says “God will not let what you cannot handle come on you” [1 Corinthians 10:13]. Pray for your partner! Accept them for who they are, communicate and know what you both can do to make it work and be happy! You compare your relationship and you will never be happy! Come to terms with what you have and make the best out of it.
God bless you
Written by © Benjamin Freshhope Mensah