The long-held belief that male children are more valuable than female children appears to be gradually diminishing among modern Ghanaian men. In the past, it was common to hear stories of men who abandoned their spouses or took on second wives in their quest for male heirs.
However, recent interviews conducted by The Mirror with seven Ghanaian men in Accra indicate that this mindset may be changing. Some recently married women expressed feeling pressured by their husbands’ families to have male children. Fertility advisor and Resident Obstetrician-Gynaecologist at the Greater Accra Regional Hospital, Dr. Rex Amedo, also provided insights into conception science, highlighting how modern medicine can challenge some of these long-standing cultural beliefs.
Stories from the past
Madam Helena Ahiawoadzi, a 48-year-old educator, shared stories from her past about the ridicule she faced from her husband’s family after giving birth to four daughters. “Though my late husband never expressed it openly, I sensed that he wanted a son. At one point, he even jokingly threatened me.
His family brought various concoctions and suggested traditional priests I could consult. I only found peace after having my fifth and final child, a boy,” she recalled. In Konongo, 66-year-old retired teacher Kwame Fosu reflected on how people congratulated him more for having his two sons than his daughters.
“We were told that boys carry the family name, and that’s what truly matters. However, because of my education, I made sure to treat all my children equally,” he stated.A 72-year-old contractor admitted that he brought two additional wives into his marriage in hopes of having a son after his first wife had four daughters.
“They all ended up giving birth to girls as well, resulting in nine daughters in total. Ironically, it’s my daughters who have blessed me with grandsons,” he remarked.
Changing views among modern men
Our interviews gave some indications that the preference for males was changing and the interviewees were surprised that such mindset still existed. “I’m surprised that in this day and age, some young men still believe male children are better. When my wife and I had our daughter last year, I didn’t feel like I was missing anything. She’s mine. That’s what matters,” 33-year-old banker Manuel Kofi Adjei said.
For a 28-year-old plumber, Kofi Baako, the idea of choosing a child’s gender seemed pointless. “No one can stress me and my future wife. We’re not God to be deciding gender.” Adding his view, 27-year-old student, Selassie Agbogla, said he had seen a lot of females breaking barriers and being an inspiration so he didn’t care much about the gender.
“I just know that my baby girls will receive premium princess treatment,” he added. However, 34-year-old engineer Kwame Batansigbe from the Upper East Region said he still preferred sons due to cultural reasons. “My culture is such that each of my siblings has a different surname, meaning I am the only one with my surname. If I don’t have boys, my line ends so I want two kids, both should be boys,” he explained.
A 29-year-old Fashion Designer, Richard Eric Ofosu, also expressed his wish for a male child first before a female. “I think firstborn females go through a lot of stress, especially if they have to take care of their younger siblings in future. They may feel pressured to do immoral stuff just to support. I think men rather should carry that burden, so women can relax,” he said.
Recently married women
Among five recently married women interviewed, three admitted feeling pressure to have sons, but that pressure was not from their husbands. “After my second daughter, my father-in-law started visiting more often with herbs. My husband doesn’t care about gender, but his family is another story,” said 33-year-old nurse Linda Borteyman. For a homemaker, Mrs Rita Darko, her in-laws were more friendly and welcoming after her third born came out male. “I think our older generation still needs to be educated on this matter because they haven’t changed,” she noted.
The science behind a baby’s gender
Breaking down the science behind conception and a baby’s gender, Dr Amedo explained that the sex of a baby is determined at the moment a sperm fertilises an egg. He added that this process has nothing to do with either parent’s wishes or actions but purely nature and genetic make-up, noting however, that it is the man’s sperm that determines the gender.
“A woman’s egg always carries an X chromosome, while a man’s sperm carries either X or Y. If an X sperm fertilises the egg, the baby is a girl (XX). If it’s a Y sperm, the baby is a boy (XY).
He clarified that although men scientifically and genetically determine the gender, the process is purely random and cannot be controlled.
Dr Amedo added that fertility involves both partners. “For women, it is more crucial for their eggs to be of good quality, healthy and chromosomally normal. For men, it’s more about quantity.
Millions of sperm are released during intercourse, but only one needs to fertilise the egg. The sheer quantity of it increases the chances of one succeeding in fertilising the egg.” He also debunked myths suggesting that diet, timing or sexual position could influence a baby’s sex.
“There’s no scientific proof for any of that. The only way to medically select gender is through In-Vitro Fertilisation (IVF) and that is also not so straightforward,” he explained. Dr Amedo urged couples not to blame each other for gender or fertility challenges. “If you’ve tried to conceive for a year without success, seek help together. It is more important for both couples and their baby to be healthy than it is to fight over gender,” he said.
