Let love back in.
The worst part of dating is when someone breaks your heart and a relationship does not work out. And it’s really hard to put yourself out there over and over again after having a bad dating experience.
But for you to find that person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you have to put yourself out there and learn to love again.
If you never take the risk to find love, you never will. So, for you to find your soulmate, you have to take steps to protect your heart while being vulnerable and open.
It’s a delicate balance you have to figure out. But when you find that person who understands you above all else, the hoops it feels like you have to jump through in order to find the right person will be worth it.
Believe me, I know how hard it is to put yourself out there after being hurt over and over again. We crave connections on a physical, intimate, and intellectual level. Every human deserves to find love in life, and sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs before you find the prince that makes your heart skip a beat.
The most important part is for you to realize that you deserve to be loved and never let anyone tell you otherwise.
If you are still hesitant to put yourself out there, think about all the positive things that could happen when you meet that special someone. If you take it slow, as experts suggest, you can get to know each other more and more so that you get to know each other on a deeper level. This will ease some of your fears and it will also help them gain your trust.
If you don’t even know where to begin to start putting yourself out there or the steps you need to take so that you can learn to love again, here is a list of 12 ways you can start working on yourself to find love again while also keeping your heart protected.
1. Open up to the idea of love again
When we are hurt, as humans, we are quick to start shutting everyone else out. When we are hurt, we never want to put ourselves in the same position so we don’t end up hurt again.
But you have to try to be willing to open your heart to love, even when you are afraid, in order to find someone to have an intimate life with.
2. Let yourself be vulnerable
When you open yourself up to someone after being hurt, it can be hard to let yourself be vulnerable to them. But intimacy requires you to express your vulnerable side.
You have to let yourself show all your vulnerabilities and if you are with the right person, they will understand and appreciate you being vulnerable with them. That’s a high form of trust when you open yourself up to someone else. The right person will respect you for who you are and what you have been though. Your perfect match will be honored with your trust and willingness to be vulnerable.
3. Leave your heartbreak in the past
Sometimes when you get heartbroken by someone you loved, it can be hard to let go. But sometimes it’s the best thing you could possibly do.
You have to let go of the past so that you can move on into the future. It’s all going to be OK and just because it happened in the past doesn’t mean that it’s going to happen again.
What is the better option? Being alone for the rest of your life or taking a chance and putting yourself out there again?
Sometimes you have to put trust in the world again even after you have been hurt so many times before.
Trust can be hard to come by, but it will all be worth it because when you learn to trust again, you have the opportunity of falling in love again.
5. Learn from your past relationship failures
Relationships are extremely hard and it can be very difficult to understand your partner at lots of points.
You can even feel betrayed or confused about what happened in your relationship. But all you can do is learn from your past relationships so that you can have a more fulling relationship in the future.
As you experience more, you become more understanding so that you know how to handle different circumstances as they occur in the future.
6. Try not to become bitter or resentful
It’s easy to fall into the deep pits of despair and resent people for what they have done to you. You just have to believe that everything will be OK and as you stay positive, everything will get better. You have to start focusing on a more positive outlook on relationships.
I’m not saying to forgive and forget, but rather suggesting for you to accept what happened for what it is and then accept things for as they were.
7. Break down the walls
We all have that fault where we close ourselves off and put up walls to protect ourselves and our hearts from being hurt again. But you have to start opening yourself up to the possibility.
Without taking the chance, you keep yourself from finding true love. It’s OK to be a bit guarded against being hurt, but you don’t want to shut everything down so that you cannot ever find someone to share your life with.
8. Accept the risk
Sometimes you have to open yourself to the risk of being hurt for the chance to find your soulmate.
Nothing in life is guaranteed so you just have to accept that there might be a strong chance that things may not turn out the way you were expecting, but you will never know unless you take the chance.
9. Go slow
After you have had your heartbroken, it’s a good idea to take your next relationship slow. Don’t dive right in with your head first. You have to take the time to get to know someone before you actually commit.
If you are with the right person, they will wait and go as slow as you need. Never let someone push you to do something you are not ready for.
Remember to always proceed with caution.
10. Be honest
It’s always important to be open and honest with yourself and your partner with what you want and what you need in your relationship. When you have been hurt before, you should let your significant other know what you have gone through so that person can check and make sure you are still OK as your relationship progresses.
It will also help you because you know you can be open and honest with them about how you are feeling. It’s so important for you to not just let your emotions go because that’s not fair to you.
A relationship is a balancing act that takes specific actions to keep it from becoming one-sided. You just have to be honest and everything will work out the way it’s meant to.
11. Stop comparing
When you start comparing yourself to others — yes, I know you do it, we all do — you start trying to talk yourself out of being with someone. It’s easy to slip into the mindset that “oh, this person would probably want someone prettier, sexier, taller, sassier…”
But, instead of putting yourself down, realize that this person is with you for a reason. It may be that you have the most beautiful, breathtaking eyes that they cannot look away from or something personality-wise that is just alluring.
They are with you, not someone else, because they want to be with you.
12. Remember that you are lovable
Lastly, you have to remember that you are loved and are a person that can be loved. You are worthy of being loved and you deserve it.
Never let anyone tell you that you are not worthy of being loved because you are. And there is someone out there that will love you for who you are, you just have to find that person.