Anger is a natural and normal human emotion that tends to make its presence known in any relationship, even if it is not addressed toward the person to whom it is being expressed. Unfortunately, anger often rears its head in our interactions with those we love the most, including our romantic partners.
But passion in a relationship shouldn’t mean that emotions like anger are expressed in uncontrollable ways. Managing anger and managing your response to an angry partner is a useful skill that can promote intimacy and maturity in any romantic relationship. So often we shut down, complain to friends, or try and control our partner as a response to our anger. While these strategies may relieve us in the moment, they are rarely effective in the long term.
Managing anger in a relationship can be challenging, but it’s crucial to maintain a healthy and happy relationship. Here are some tips that may help:
Take a break
If you’re feeling angry or frustrated, take a break from the situation. Go for a walk, do some deep breathing exercises, or engage in an activity that you enjoy. Taking a break can help you calm down and gain a new perspective on the situation.
Communicate calmly
When you’re ready to talk about the issue, communicate calmly and respectfully. Use “I” statements instead of “you” statements to avoid blaming or attacking your partner. For example, instead of saying “You always do this,” say “I feel frustrated when this happens.”
Practice active listening
When your partner is speaking, give them your full attention and try to understand their perspective. Don’t interrupt or dismiss their feelings. Repeat back what you’ve heard to ensure that you’ve understood them correctly.
Identify triggers
Try to identify the triggers that make you angry in your relationship. Is it a certain behaviour or situation? Once you’ve identified the trigger, you can work on finding a way to prevent it or manage your response to it.
Seek professional help
If your anger is causing significant problems in your relationship, consider seeking the help of a therapist. A therapist can help you identify the root of your anger, develop coping strategies, and improve communication skills.
Remember, managing anger in a relationship takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself and your partner as you work towards a happier and healthier relationship.
