Dr. Charity Twumasi Ankrah, Chief Executive Officer of Chartman Herbal Centre, has urged individuals to prioritise self-validation and inner peace over societal timelines for marriage, cautioning that choices made under pressure often end poorly. Speaking on Let’s Talk on Joy Prime, she observed that many pursue marriage to appease family, peers, or social media expectations rather than personal conviction—an approach she described as dangerous. “Anytime you are looking for validation from people because of what you are doing, you are depressed,” she stated.
According to Dr. Ankrah, the constant search for external approval often reflects deeper emotional struggles that remain unresolved. She warned that the desire for applause leaves people vulnerable to decisions they are not emotionally prepared for, especially life-defining commitments such as marriage. When external voices dictate such choices, she added, the relationship’s foundation is already compromised. “People must not appreciate your hard work. You have to appreciate it yourself,” she emphasised, underscoring the importance of self-worth and inner assurance in building lasting relationships.
Dr. Charity Twumasi Ankrah emphasised that genuine self-appreciation, independent of public perception, is vital before entering marriage. Without it, she cautioned, individuals risk approaching marriage as a search for completion rather than a true partnership.
She warned that when internal satisfaction is absent, marriage often becomes a performance rather than a meaningful commitment. “You are doing it for the pictures, for the family, for the timeline, not for yourself,” she explained, noting that such a mindset leaves couples unprepared for the realities that follow the wedding ceremony.
Dr. Ankrah cautioned against rushing into marriage to meet social expectations, stressing that such decisions rarely deliver the peace many anticipate. The pressure to “catch up” or avoid judgment, she said, pushes many into commitments they later regret. She described scenarios where individuals “just say yes because time is going” and later face severe personal consequences.
Highlighting the importance of emotional and mental readiness, she remarked: “Marriage will not fix what you haven’t fixed in yourself.” She added that when self-worth is tied to relationship status, disappointment becomes almost inevitable. Encouraging a more reflective approach, Dr. Ankrah advised individuals to “loosen up, feel good, and feel happy about themselves” before deciding whether marriage is truly desired.
She stressed that mindset and preparation must come before timelines. “You can’t pour from an empty cup,” she explained. According to her, a person who feels whole brings strength into a union, while one seeking validation brings unmet needs. She concluded that genuine peace comes when decisions are made from a place of confidence rather than fear of judgment or societal pressure.
Marriage, she said, should complement an already fulfilled life rather than serve as an escape from an unfulfilled one. “I’m mature enough to know what I want,” she said, urging individuals to choose marriage based on personal readiness rather than pressure. “The final yes should be yours, and it should come from a place of joy, not fear.”
Source: Gifty Nsumba
