Burnout from dating often occurs because many men engage in mind games. It can be frustrating to feel deceived by someone who seems genuinely interested, only to have them ghost you or abruptly change their personality after you’ve committed. However, there are plenty of good men who are sincere in their intentions. Don’t let the actions of a few individuals deter you from finding lasting love. Recognize these behaviours early on and establish strong boundaries to protect yourself from toxic interactions.
Here are eleven mind games men play that manipulate even the smartest women:
- He lovebombs you
Love bombing refers to the practice of overwhelming someone with excessive compliments, gifts, and attention at the start of a relationship in order to quickly win them over. This behaviour can indicate emotional manipulation, and it’s important not to take it as sincere. Men who engage in love bombing are often more enamoured with the idea of you rather than genuinely wanting to understand the real you. Typically, they tend to disappear after the first disagreement or conflict.
- He cancels plans at the last minute
Cancelling last minute is a sign this man isn’t serious or can’t manage his work-life balance. He will frequently cancel plans at the last minute or not show up at all, leaving you feeling confused and uncertain about the relationship. These men are time wasters so don’t invest your heart until he’s proven that he’s in it to win it with you. This mind game men play proves that he’s not serious about a relationship and he’s only looking for something convenient.
- He purposefully tests your boundaries
Some men may intentionally test your boundaries to see how far they can push. This behaviour can be an attempt to gain power and control in the relationship. It may also indicate that he has co-dependent tendencies and is eager to emotionally connect with you. Establishing boundaries, particularly in the early stages of a relationship, is essential, as it demonstrates whether your partner respects you. A 2020 study found that mutual respect is crucial for building a healthy relationship.
Men who test your boundaries can’t be trusted with your heart. It might be easy to confuse the excitement you feel as chemistry, but it’s not going to lead to an emotionally healthy dynamic between you.
- He gaslights you into doubting yourself
This mind game is a form of psychological abuse. When someone gaslights you they make you question your reality — your thoughts, feelings, and memory. Gaslighting can be subtle at first and become more prominent once he has you convinced you can’t trust your own eyes and ears. If a man negates your experience or tries to convince you that what you know isn’t true run! He will prey on your insecurities and work to undermine your confidence. This mind game men play is a serious red flag that you must extricate yourself from immediately.
- He sends mixed signals
Men who send you conflicting messages and alternate between hot and cold can have you feeling uncertain and confused about their intentions. While not typically deliberate, mixed signals are a sign that he’s not invested in creating a long-term relationship with you.
Whether he’s uncertain about his feelings or enjoys the convenience of your company without wanting to invest emotionally, men who send mixed signals are unlikely to realize one day that you are the love of their lives. It’s best not to waste your time while he tries to figure out what he wants.
- He won’t take responsibility
If he refuses to take responsibility for his actions or blames you for his mistakes, then it’s impossible to resolve conflicts or miscommunication in your relationship. When conflict is pushed aside or ignored because he won’t own his behaviour, it becomes a landmine that will consistently blow up into more conflict. You can also end up walking on eggshells like you can’t do anything right as he pushes responsibility for his moods and behaviour onto you. Shifting blame is a sign of emotional immaturity and will not allow lasting love to grow.
- He stonewalls you
Stonewalling is when someone shuts down and refuses to communicate or engage in conflict resolution. It can be a way for them to avoid taking responsibility or to maintain control in the relationship. This strategy is commonly used by a person with an avoidant attachment style.
Research from The Gottman Institute confirms that if left unaddressed, stonewalling can be detrimental to a relationship. It’s one thing to need a break to calm down during an argument; however, this tactic often employed by men prevents couples from repairing and reconnecting. The intention may be to let time heal the situation, allowing one partner to act as if nothing went wrong. Ultimately, this leaves the other partner wondering when, not if, they will be shut out again.
- He subtly criticizes you
This mind game men play is one of the most insidious because they make subtle comments or criticisms about your appearance, behaviour, or personality, leaving you feeling insecure and inadequate. Your self-esteem will slowly erode, and eventually, you won’t believe that you deserve more from your man. Notice if he supports you and tries to lift you, or if you’re often feeling bad about yourself hearing his criticism. A partner who wants you to be your best will inspire you not admonish you.
- He ghosts you
Ghosting is when someone abruptly ends all communication and disappears without explanation, leaving you feeling hurt and confused. You may waste time searching for what you did wrong or chase after him, either way, you’re throwing away your most valuable resource. Ultimately, men who play this mind game are showing you who they are — and it’s not an emotionally mature man. Men who ghost disappear because they can’t be honest and tell you they’re not interested in a relationship. This has nothing to do with you!
- He won’t introduce you to their friends or family
This subtle mind game men play keeps you separate from their social circle because they don’t want to integrate you into their life, which is another sign that they’re not serious about the relationship. If he’s not integrating you into his life, then he’s not moving the relationship forward. By keeping you out of his inner circle he’s showing you that he’s not interested in a future with you.
- He controls your behaviour
Attempting to control someone’s behavior, choices, or actions is a form of emotional abuse and should be taken seriously. Controlling men may initially appear strong and decisive, but over time they can turn into bullies. This manipulation stems from a need to manage their environment and ensure they get their way. Eventually, you may have to submit to his demands, or you will face constant conflict with him.
These mind games men play are a sign that this man is not a good match for a thriving relationship. You deserve to be with a healthy and supportive partner where you’re treated as an equal. If you’re experiencing any of these mind games, you must reexamine the relationship. Communicate your concerns and set clear boundaries. If the behaviour persists, it may be necessary to end the relationship for your well-being.
Source: Your Tango
Leave a Reply