Ways to deal with a suspicious girlfriend

Suspicion is the worst thing that can happen to any relationship. It can lead to insecurity, lies, cheating, anger, betrayal, hurt, and impending doom. A friend once shared that having a suspicious girlfriend is a challenging experience. According to him, his girlfriend would often assume things about him. For instance, if he talked to a girl, she would think he was sleeping with her or intended to do so. Eventually, he had to start lying to her because she would never stop calling or texting him, even if he said he was busy. He hated having to lie, but he felt he had no other choice.

A lot of times, the suspicion stems from the fact that a relationship between two people is very different in the beginning, compared to once the honeymoon stages are over. Towards the start of any relationship, you have to work doubly hard at understanding the other person and being extra attentive towards their needs and desires. Once the two of you have established an equation, you begin to focus on the other areas of your life. It doesn’t mean you’ve lost interest in the person; it just means that now that they’re a part of your life, you can go on living your life, alongside them.

Women often have difficulty understanding sudden changes in a man’s behaviour, which can cause discomfort later on. Women tend to internalize everything that men say or do, and while most of the time the problems are in their heads, it helps if men try to dispel the suspicion and reassure their partner of their worth and importance in their life. Although it may not work every time, if you believe that the person is worth being in a relationship with, it’s worth the effort to try.

• Stop Glorifying The Honeymoon Phase

Devoting all your attention to your partner during the first 3 to 6 months of your relationship can create unrealistic expectations. Your partner may come to expect that level of constant attention and affection to continue throughout the relationship. However, if you are unable to maintain that level of attention, it can lead to disappointment and confusion. This can cause your partner to question the relationship and leave them feeling uncertain about your feelings for them.

• Include Her In Your Schedule

Dedicate an hour or two, every day just to spend quality time with her. It doesn’t have to be a lavish date every day; it could be as simple as hanging out at your place together, watching the latest sitcom on Netflix, or just listening and venting about each other’s days. If you live separately, you can always talk over the phone, WhatsApp, or FaceTime. The idea is to actually make an effort not just because you have to; but, also because you want to.

• Hang Out With Her In A Group

The best way to tell whether or not you’re with the right person is to notice how they behave around and with you when you’re in a group. Notice if she gets too clingy around your friends, or if she turns completely aloof—both are signs of insecurity. Involve her in conversations with friends; especially your female friends—they are where her suspicions lie. Let her feel like she is a part of your life and social circle; let her get to know your friends, the people you spend most of your time with and why they are important to you. The more she understands, the lesser her chances of suspecting.

• Take Her Out On Double Dates

“I understand that it may seem unnecessary and unimportant, but in reality, it’s actually quite essential. It’s important because your girlfriend should be aware that you have female friends who are in relationships, and yet you still choose to be romantic with her in their presence. This shows her how much you value and cherish her. Although it may be a minor detail and often overlooked, it’s just as crucial as an intimate date.”

• Appreciate Her More Often 

It’s difficult to do so every single time. But, this is something you’re going to have to work on, especially when you know she has a habit of suspecting your every move. The next time she tries asking you where you’ve been, or what you’re doing, throw in something like how you like the fact that she cares so much about you. In fact, you should ask her the same; give her the idea that you’re just as interested in her life as she is in yours.

• Address The Issue 

The best way to put the water under the bridge is to get on that bridge. I don’t mean hound her the minute she asks you a question. Questioning you once or twice is human. Most girlfriends do that. I’m talking about when the questions get persistent and pervasive. How you do this is of the utmost importance. You don’t want to make her feel like she’s being accused of something. You care about her and you want her to know that she’s all that matters. Communication has always been the key to solving every relationship problem.

• Give Her A Choice 

“This is the final straw. Despite trying everything you could think of, including balancing your time, spending quality time with her, showing appreciation, involving her in your life and social circle, and having open communication, nothing seems to work. She remains persistent and unwilling to let go of her insecurities. At this point, it’s clear that continuing to stay in the relationship would only lead to toxicity and more hurt for both of you. It’s important for her to work on her own insecurities and address why she feels that way.”

You clearly cannot live your life constantly justifying your every action. And you can’t love someone who doesn’t trust you enough to set you free. It’s time to cut the cord.  Whatever you do, try steering clear of the lies, the sugarcoating and the avoidance of confrontation. That is the worst thing you can do to her and yourself.