If you Google “how to know if you have a soul connection,” you’ll likely end up feeling frustrated and empty-handed. The search results can feel overwhelming and unhelpful, like trying to drink from a fire hose of worthless information. Often, the information you’ll find is conflicting or convoluted.
To be fair, there isn’t a definitive scientific set of criteria to determine whether a soul connection truly exists. Research on love generally examines observable behaviours, brain activity related to attraction and attachment, and the impact of love on well-being, but it doesn’t provide a reliable method for self-diagnosis. Many of the answers available online lack educational value, leaving you more confused than before.
Let’s debunk a few of the common ideas you might encounter.
- They’re always on your mind.” This is often just “infatuation.” If someone is constantly on your mind, it means you’re not focusing on other important aspects of your life, which is a problem. True love fits into your life instead of taking it over to the point where you can’t think about anything else.
- “You’ll do whatever it takes to impress them.” That sounds concerning. Why are you putting in so much effort? Love shouldn’t be about trying desperately to become what you think the other person wants. It’s more important to simply be yourself. Plus, think about it: no one can maintain that level of effort indefinitely. Seek someone who appreciates you for who you truly are.
- “You just know.” This is one of the least helpful pieces of advice. If you’ve ever heard this, please stop repeating it. Such vague guidance doesn’t contribute to understanding romance; it’s simply a lazy way of avoiding providing more substantial, thoughtful answers.
In conclusion, it’s crucial to approach the idea of soul connections with clarity and a grounded perspective.
Here are six profound signs you have a soul connection with the person you love:
You love them for more than just the way they look
Being attracted to someone is often the first step in any relationship, but the next step is crossing that superficial barrier into the territory of their other traits and characteristics you appreciate.
You appreciate their differences from everyone else
Once you’ve ventured into this realm, you start to recognise what makes each person unique, which in turn helps you appreciate them for who they truly are. In fact, you may find yourself attracted to them precisely because of their individual qualities. Recognising and valuing someone’s differences is a strong indication that you are progressing beyond mere infatuation toward a deeper, more enduring connection based on acceptance and love. A 2020 study found that at this stage, you won’t attempt to change them or mould them into an idealised version of themselves.
You’ll try new things with them
You’ve found someone whose company you truly enjoy, and you’re interested in discovering why they love their hobbies so much. You’re willing to go fishing with them, try a cooking class together, or spend an afternoon gardening, even though you might not choose to do those activities on your own.
You have established healthy boundaries
Both of you avoid being petty, manipulative, or jealous. You are both committed to the relationship but do not feel the need to spend every moment together. You feel secure without constantly seeking reassurance from each other. It’s not necessary to do everything together; you respect and support one another while also enjoying your individual lives outside of the relationship.
Healthy boundaries in a relationship are not about building walls; rather, they serve to create a strong foundation for a loving, respectful, and fulfilling partnership. A study concluded that by setting and respecting boundaries, partners show that they value themselves, each other, and the relationship as a whole.
You want the best for them
Even if it may not be the best choice for you, it’s important to consider your partner’s wants and needs in a healthy, loving relationship. This doesn’t mean you should make unnecessary sacrifices just to please the other person. Rather, it involves taking on the responsibility of honouring and respecting each other’s desires, even if that includes difficult decisions like breaking up. Generally speaking, a strong relationship means supporting each other, being in each other’s corner, and having the perspective to care for one another beyond your own needs and desires.
You learn how to fight with each other the right way
Everyone believes they’re in love when everything is going well, but watch how they react when challenges arise. True love persists even when you’re upset. It’s not about “fighting” — it’s about disagreeing. The goal should be to reach an agreement, not to win an argument. When resolving an issue, approach it as if you’re on the same team. You should listen, compromise, apologise, and forgive. Instead of searching for “how to know if we’re in love,” we should be looking up “how to love.” If you seek genuine love, understanding the “how-to” is what truly matters. Learning to argue constructively shows that you both value the relationship and are willing to address issues rather than avoid them.
According to clinical psychologist Deborah Grody, relationships that cannot be saved typically involve one or both partners being indifferent and not caring enough to engage in the fight. Is there scientific data on how to determine if you have a true soul connection with someone? The short answer is no; there’s no definitive data on gauging true feelings, especially since they can vary significantly from person to person.
A study conducted by German researchers involving 99 participants explored the differences between liking, loving, and being in love with someone. They developed a taxonomy of 47 characteristics or indicators to help differentiate these feelings. The researchers found that the most commonly mentioned indicators for both liking and loving someone were having a “positive mood in the other’s presence” and “arousal.” However, the primary indicator for being in love was exclusively “arousal.”
The defining characteristics for each category were identified as follows: “desire for interaction with the other” for liking someone, “trust in the other” for loving someone, and “arousal” for being in love. The researchers concluded that a significant characteristic of love is “investment in the well-being of the other for their own sake.”
Regardless of your personal views on love, it is clear that acts of love are all about demonstrating care, compassion, and consideration for the other person. If you are in a relationship, remember to foster a healthy, equitable partnership that incorporates a fourth ‘C’ — compromise.
