Society, often, has subtle ways of reminding you that you aren’t growing any younger. Since it’s awesome to marry early, it is more important to consider walking down the aisle when ready. Would anyone ever get ready for marriage? Of course, yes. One needs to be prepared physically, financially, mentally and even spiritually. Even though marriage is not rocket science, it is not an alphabet recitation. It is hard work. It is teamwork. Poor preparation has always been the best recipe for divorce.
Marriage is for the mature. It is not for those who can’t keep to the vows made on the altar. If keeping to a commitment is below you, marriage is just beyond you. Ideally, marriage is not a contract subject to your own terms and conditions. Thus, you don’t decide where or when to terminate it when such terms are not met.
I see many today in haste to walk down the aisle for many flimsy reasons and not because they found their Mr or Mrs Right, not because they are prepared for the journey ahead. The interesting thing is that they would spend eternity preparing for a successful wedding, yet give no hoot about what happens thereafter. Is it a surprise divorce rates are on the soar?
Love is like a fruit. When harvested unripe, it becomes waste. It can’t be enjoyed. When you rush into a life-long union you were never prepared for, you are very likely to run into danger. When your reason(s) for marriage can’t even hold water, that union can’t even withhold fire!
We live in a society that amazingly has its own measurement of success. In a society where marriage validates one’s achievements, it is obvious there would be a mad rush to walk down the aisle to be counted as an achiever. Let me burst your bubble. Marriage is an honourable thing but it’s not an achievement. It is not good for a man (or woman) to be alone but that should not be your sole aim in life!
I have observed people helplessly want to satisfy society’s validation and, thus, agree to even lower their values just to wear a ring. You see, every potential spouse is marriageable but not all of them are suitable. Every man (or woman) walking down the street can walk down the aisle with you. However, not all of them can keep walking down this path of life with you!
Half a loaf, they say, is better than none. However, half a spouse is not better than none! Life should not push you to the limit where it is a MUST to be content with “just anything” that comes your way. You should not reach the height of life where you uncomfortably need to convince yourself at all costs that it is, at least, better to be married (to whoever regardless) than to be single.
As I insist, it’s a blessing to be ready early. It’s such a joy to be found by your Prince Charming, as a lady, early. The million-dollar question is, “What if your case is different?” What if you’re not financially and emotionally stable early? Would you still need to play by the same rules as everyone? Of course not!
Back in high school, we had friends who left for university before we did because they wrote remedial exams ahead of us. Well, they were very fortunate to be blessed not only with brains but with money, too. Some of us had to follow the ‘normal’ process. Others even entered tertiary institutions later than we did. It was all about time and chance. You take the chance when it’s your time.
It’s like marriage.
Just because someone has achieved something doesn’t mean we all have to achieve it too. Just because things worked out for them early on doesn’t guarantee the same for everyone. It might be early, but you might not be ready for it. Life favours us all differently. One person might have an early marriage, while another might have early business success. So, if someone looks down on you because they are married, remember you have your own strengths. If our successes are just a matter of timing and luck, who are we to judge those who haven’t been as fortunate?
I am not endorsing wasting your youth chasing after married spouses and then, later in life, hopping from one prophet to the other to charm a husband or wife from the heavens for you. I am not saying turn away all your suitors and wait for some all-perfect spouse to be created from clay just for your sake.
All I am saying is don’t bow to society’s pressure. Don’t be in haste to go nod to vows at the altar because all your friends are doing the same. Don’t fret and be in a rush to wear a ring because you are assuming someone is your last bet.
Even when you notice all the warning signs, don’t rush into marriage just because of some arbitrary reason like age. While no one wants to have children at an older age, having children when you’re not ready to provide them with the care they deserve is not the solution. Society may pressure you to marry for various reasons, but then criticize you if you decide to divorce. It can force you to make decisions against your will, even if they put your life at risk, and then mock you if those decisions lead to your downfall.
Hasten not for a half spouse because it is early. Marry because you’re ready… not early.
