You met a man by chance and were immediately attracted to him. He was handsome, engaging, well-dressed, successful, and appeared emotionally stable. He seemed equally interested in you and asked for your phone number. He called you soon after and eagerly scheduled your first date. When you arrived at the restaurant, he greeted you with a warm smile and a hug. Just fifteen minutes into the date, you found yourself hoping for a second one.
During the date, he suddenly became distant, his eyes lost their focus and he kept checking his watch. You felt a strong disconnection and were puzzled by the sudden change in his behaviour. You tried to use your feminine charm to get the date back on track, but it was too late. You could sense that he was trying to find a way to end the date early and avoid you. So, what went wrong? Why did he suddenly change his attitude towards you?
Here are 10 honest reasons guys don’t want to see you again after the first date:
- You were closed-minded
Narrow-minded people come off as rigid, pretentious, and condescending. When you meet someone new, stay open to hearing his thoughts and opinions. Validating his point of view in the conversation makes you look intriguing, so avoid debating with him. It’s great to share your knowledge, but trying to one-up him makes you look arrogant, controlling, and difficult to get along with.
- You hogged the conversation
Monopolizing the evening by talking non-stop about yourself just makes you look self-absorbed and boring. Encourage your date to talk and REALLY listen to what he tells you.
- You bored him
On the other side of that extreme, don’t make your date carry the whole conversation either. If you’re shy, just say so and he’ll probably help you out by guiding the conversation. Stay informed about what’s going on in the world, because if the only thing you read are your emails, Twitter, and Facebook, you may have difficulty contributing to a meaningful conversation.
- The date felt like an interrogation
Save your probing questions for a follow-up date. Don’t ask how many women he’s slept with, does he has STDs, why he broke up with his girlfriend, or why he got a divorce. Don’t ask questions that ask about his income or possessions.
- You talked about your ex
A man doesn’t want to hear about your ex-boyfriend/husband/lover. It’s an indication that you’re living in the past and you’re not ready for a new relationship.
- You appeared too eager
Compliment him, but don’t over-compliment him. Don’t ask for his phone number, don’t ask to Facebook him, don’t insinuate a second date, and don’t invite him over for dinner. Also, nervous behaviour makes you appear self-absorbed and insecure: Don’t touch your face, twist your hair, laugh excitedly, boast, or prattle about yourself.
- You had high expectations
Don’t go on a date already hoping for a second date. Men have an innate radar for women who are needy and looking for a relationship. They can sense if you’re overly smitten with him, and men like a bit of chase. Let him wonder how much you really like him.
- You outwore your stay
Don’t prolong the date with after-dinner cocktails or bar hopping. Don’t follow him home to listen to music and don’t invite him into your place for a nightcap. Just give him a goodnight kiss at the door and leave him wanting more.
- You drank more than your limit
Too many martinis loosen your tongue, lower your inhibitions, and destroy your femininity. If you can’t limit yourself to two drinks, don’t drink.
- You wanted intimacy right away
“I repeat, do not invite him for a nightcap, do not engage in a make-out session, and do not sleep with him on the first date. If you do, he may assume that you sleep with other guys on the first date as well. I am not saying that lovemaking on the first date is wrong. But if you have to do that, let him be the one to initiate it and it should be on mutual grounds.
Now that you know what went wrong with the last guy, and what not to do again, what can you do differently the next time you meet a great man to ensure that you successfully make it from a first date to a second date?”