What is a soulmate? Many people think that a soulmate is someone who fulfils every wish and needs in love. However, this definition promotes an overly idealistic and naive perspective. Here are three important truths about soulmates that you should understand if you want to find yours, based on psychological insights:
- Don’t buy into the glossy soulmate narrative
The truth is, if you buy into the glossy, idealized definition of “soulmate,” you might miss the true meaning of finding a soulmate and sharing a deep connection with someone. Throughout your life, you will encounter many soulmates. As you grow and evolve, each partner will meet you where you are in your journey. A soulmate is someone with whom you can be your authentic self, but they may not be a perfect match for you. This concept is supported by a study published in the Personal Relationships Journal.
- Your soulmate is a reflection of you
A study on intimate imitation published in the Journal of Cognition illustrates how a true soulmate acts as a mirror, reflecting aspects of yourself that may be holding you back from becoming your authentic self. A soulmate encourages you to evolve and strive for your best so you can live the life you’re meant to lead.
When I was single, I believed I was a good catch and expressed a desire to get married. However, deep down, I felt that marriage would be like being trapped and controlled. I often encountered good men who were non-committal, until one day, I met my current husband.
He was the impetus for me to ask myself, “Which am I more committed to, getting married or my fears about marriage?” After much reflection, I realized I had been more committed to my fears, as evidenced by the non-committal men I attracted. It was then that I began to learn and believe marriage is a place of freedom and support.
- Finding a soulmate is all about timing
The universe brings you the right person based on where you’re at, depending on your level of consciousness and where you need to grow the most. If you’re still working through many internal issues, the best person can come along, and you won’t be able to have your ideal relationship with him.
If you’re waiting for someone who meets your every wish and need, prepare yourself to be single for a very long time, as supported by a paper on perfectionism in the American Journal of Psychotherapy. If you’re open to the kind of soulmate I’ve described, understand they may come in a different package. While you may feel happy and peaceful around him, you may also feel challenged to stretch yourself by growing in areas that don’t come naturally to you.
