Everyone has their own ideas about how a first date should end. There are people who think that you should wait to sleep with someone new until it’s been longer than a few days or weeks that you’ve known them, but really, having sex on the first date is an amazing idea.
What are you dating for anyway if not to find a new person, someone you can connect with, someone who really understands you, someone you feel safe around and of course someone to sleep with? Sure, you might want a partner and all of that relationship stuff, but sex is a pretty big deal. And do you really want to date someone you don’t vibe with sexually? Let me answer that for you: No, you don’t.
A lot of this whole “wait until the third date” stuff is pretty old-fashioned. That’s what cranky old people used to tell women so that people didn’t think they were “easy.” And also, let’s keep this in mind, if someone has sex with you on the first date and think you are cheap, then that person is also cheap.
Sex on the first date can be so freeing. Whether it’s what we eat, how we dress, or how we have sex, we are regularly taught to deny ourselves pleasure. Sex on the first date means you’re listening to what your body wants for once, not what society at large wants for your body. If you’re feeling desire, act on it.
When the chemistry is there, it can feel impossible to ignore — and research shows that young people are progressively ignoring it less and less. In a recent study, 46% of OkCupid users said they would consider having sex with somebody on the first date. But still, there are some things to keep in mind before tearing each other’s clothes off. Before sex on the first date, it’s especially important for all involved parties to be aligned about where things might go. “If it’s a one-time thing, the key is consent and consensus,”.
“It’s important to have a mindful awareness of what you want out of the sexual experience. All parties need to know what they’re getting into.” That being said, first date sex does not automatically qualify as a one-night stand if you don’t want it to be one. Sometimes sex on the first date can lead to a deep and satisfying, long-term relationship. “The way I look at it is, if you lust after somebody that you don’t know terribly well, it can still be a damn good start to a longstanding relationship. And I think it alleviates a lot of pressure.”
Just make sure you’re on the same page about your respective emotional availability before anyone gets too attached. “If you’re comfortable with having sex on the first date, and you’re in a good place — maybe you’re recently out of a long-term relationship and you’re not looking for a commitment, or you’re just kind of looking to explore and get to know yourself sexually — then, by all means, enjoy yourself.
Having sex on the first date means you’ll explore each other’s bodies, experience intimacy with someone new, and hopefully, feel amazing. But honestly, that’s it — it doesn’t have to mean anything else beyond that. “Doing the deed isn’t automatically going to push your partner into starting a relationship, becoming monogamous, proposing to you, or falling in love with you.
There’s no one-size-fits-all solution here.
Wanting to have sex with someone on the first date does not make you a bad person, point-blank. It doesn’t make you “cheap,” and it doesn’t make you a “slut”. Getting naked with someone you just met a couple of days or weeks ago says nothing about the content of your character.
Once you sleep with someone, you’ve surpassed that weird first-date zone. You’ve bonded, so to speak, at least to the level that you’re comfortable seeing each other naked, which hey, isn’t anything that bad. From there, the subsequent texts and hang out sessions are just easier. After you’ve gotten down and dirty together, there’s less of a sense that you have to beat around the bush if you want to see them again.
But with all these said, bear in mind that, whatever we do have consequences that come with it, there is always a reaction to our actions, so before you let go of yourself and give in on the first date, make sure it’s something you are really ready for, don’t be pushed into it. Make your own decision and prepare your mind to accept the consequences that come after it.
