The fundamental difference between making love and having sex is commitment. Being in a committed relationship with someone you love and have known for some time definitely qualifies as making love – this is a physical act of intimacy being carried out between two people who know each other, love each other, and therefore have a similar mental and emotional wavelength.
Moreover, when you’re committed, there is a clear difference between making love vs having sex because commitment can make the experience very romantic, as opposed to just having sex with someone without any feelings attached.
No strings attached
A no-strings-attached relationship is the opposite of a committed relationship – where you are with someone, but you make sure that feelings and emotions don’t get mixed and involved. This is when two people clarify that they are just having casual sex, but there’s nothing more to it. Making love vs having sex can be clearly determined by the emotional intensity of the relationship. If you can wake up and just leave, without a glance at the person sleeping next to you, it is just sex.
This happens when sex is nothing more than a physical relationship that needs to be taken care of – and you’re usually engaging in it with a trusted person. A no-strings-attached scene is like a fling or a hookup, where there is no obligation to talk to the person again and you definitely do not need to have a pillow talk or cuddle with them after.
Friends with benefits
How can you tell if you are in a friends-with-benefits-situation? Well, for starters, if you guys have been friends or known each other for a while, and have decided to have sex together, then this is what it is. When you are friends with benefits, the difference between making love and having sex can fade away.
It is a step ahead from the no-strings-attached relationship, because as friends, you can discuss your lives with each other – but just enough to shy away from emotionally engaging and being vulnerable with each other so that feelings don’t get involved. However, if one person starts getting emotionally involved it can be making love for them while for the other person it is still casual sex.
Motivation and communication
More often than not, people are clear about their motive behind having sex – are they into the other person romantically, or are they just doing it as a way of taking care of their physical needs?
Most people are also always expressive about what they want to do – in today’s day and age people specify whether they are just looking for a random hookup or they are actually looking to be with someone romantically and thus, looking for something more. So it is easy to clarify whether it is pure lust or love.
Making love vs having sex can be determined by the act itself
It is very easy to determine the difference between making love and having sex. Making love is a passionate, intimate act where two people pleasure themselves and each other. You make love to the other person and thus try to ensure that they are having a good time.
However, when having casual sex, people are more selfish and tend to care about their own pleasure rather than spending time pleasuring the other person. One of my friends once told me that, ” if you are wondering what’s the difference between making love and having sex, ask yourself how many times does your partner make an extra effort to pleasure you? If the answer is rarely, then you are most likely having sex and not making love.”
Sex vs making love can be deciphered by level of emotional satisfaction
The difference between making love and having sex is that when you are making love to someone, you not only feel satisfied sexually but also feel emotionally satisfied. If you feel like you have shown a very special side of yourself to someone, then it is making love. However, if you are indifferent and feel nothing after engaging with someone, then it is most likely sex.
There is romance involved
Making love is all about the romance involved. There is an effort to do foreplay, create a romantic setting, and set the mood for intense lovemaking. Sex vs making love can be differentiated from the amount of effort involved. Since sex is limited to being a physical act, it does not require effort.
On the contrary, making love is an emotional and physical experience and thus people try to make it as special as possible. If you are just beginning to explore your sexuality and are confused about what’s the difference between making love and having sex, observe the number of efforts you or your partner are making for each other before and after sex.
How vulnerable are you?
Vulnerability is not limited to emotions. It can mean a lot of things. The difference between making love and having sex is that when you are making love, you are not afraid to explore certain aspects of your sexuality with your partner. Before, after, or even during, you are comfortable in letting your guard down. That’s a key factor between sex vs making love. If you are hesitant of showing them a certain side of you and are never truly yourself, then it is definitely casual sex.
There are many ways to tell if you’re just having sex or making love to someone – just understand the vibe, understand what the other person wants, and more than anything, understand what you want. There is no pressure to feel the need to be in a relationship to have sex. It is completely alright to have sex and not make love. Either way, it should be fun and safe for both parties. Have clarity and do not let your emotions get the best of you. As long as you the difference between love and sex and don’t confuse one with the other, it can be an exciting experience.
