What Do Men Want In A Relationship

Yes, you read that right. There is a difference between dating and relationship and it’s a thin line. As easy as it is to mix the two, the dating vs boyfriend girlfriend divide is something that one must carefully understand or they might find themselves asking all kinds of questions when they begin to go out. This is usually where the confusion begins.

Are you confused about whether it’s casual dating or serious relationship territory? Those butterflies in your stomach keep fluttering not because you’re giddy in love but because you’re nervous and need some answers as to what is really going on, and where you go from here.

Well, going from dating to a relationship can get confusing. At this point, you can’t read the other person’s thoughts and you are too afraid to ask the big questions. What does dating look like? How long to date someone before making it official? How to define the relationship without scaring him? Also, what changes when you make a relationship official? Woah, slow down and read on…

What is the difference between dating and being boyfriend and girlfriend? Well first, one can ask the question — what is dating about? To put it briefly, dating is only a foremost step that may or may not lead to a relationship. It’s sort of like a trial zone without any reins or commitment that one can sort of cruise through. Well, there are a few phases of dating involved that can help you understand this much better. While they may vary from relationship to relationship, here’s what they broadly entail and look like commonly:

Is there any difference between dating and a relationship? Yes. Both are closely linked but they are still separate in their own ways. People often confuse them because of their nature. What is dating about, you wonder? It can be a fling that involves casual sex and fun, but a relationship is a more serious and romantic affair. Let us now explore this in greater depth.

 

  • Dating may/may not lead to a relationship

What does dating mean? “I’d say dating is about finding out if you are compatible with each other. A relationship is when you’ve already found out that you are a great match. The whole point of being in a relationship is having found a person you enjoy spending time with.”

Looking for the definition of a ‘date’ with someone? It’s a pre-planned meeting, involving romantic intent. Can you date without being in a relationship? Yes. Is it okay to go on dates with different guys? Yes. And if you end up liking one of them, you may mutually arrive at exclusivity in a relationship. On that note, here’s the definition of an exclusive relationship:

  • You are ONLY seeing each other and no longer looking to date other people
  • You are involved personally and intimately with each other
  • People are aware of your exclusivity status
  • You haven’t given them the title of ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend’

On the subject of ‘exclusive relationship vs committed relationship’, “Being ‘exclusive’ with someone is a tricky phase to define. It’s the final step toward a relationship. You both reciprocate each other’s feelings and understand each other’s love languages. You have built a concrete structure where you are actively seeking to get to know the other person better. Let’s consider this phase as a trial period for what’s to come later, which is the relationship stage.”

  • You say “I love you” to each other

What is dating someone? And when does dating become a relationship? Well, this might depend on whether you two say these three magical words to each other or not. When you’re dating exclusively:

  • The most that you will get out of your partner is “I like you” or “I love spending time with you, boo” and it ends there
  • There will be moments of intimacy but those three magical words usually remain elusive
  • And for good reason, as saying I love you too soon can be a disaster

Wondering what being in a relationship means? It’s when you start saying “I love you” to each other without having to think twice about whether it’s too soon. It is a gesture that clearly says you and your better half are ready to take it to the next level and are ready for a serious commitment.

  • You become their top priority in a committed relationship

What’s the dating vs girlfriend boyfriend difference? “In a casual relationship, you see each other 2-3 times a week, sleep sometimes, go eat dinners, go on dates still. When you are in a relationship, you can sleep over at your partner’s house for days without thinking twice about it, you have lots of sex, you talk about absolutely everything, they meet your family, you go on trips together etc.”

The basic expectations in a relationship are quite different from those in a relationship without a title. Commitment means that both go out of their way to make time for each other and see each other. Even a half-hour catching up is enough to make your day and maybe even, essential. That shows that you have prioritized your romantic relationship over everyone else. On the other hand, here’s what the exclusive dating phase looks like:

  • Friends and family top the priority list but they might make an exception sometimes
  • You both go out on dates (maybe even frequently) but only when it’s convenient
  • They will make time for you, but will not prioritize you above else

 

  • A relationship allows you to be more comfortable

One of the biggest rules of dating is, don’t scare him/her away. You know this stage. It’s when you:

  • Spend time picking the perfect cologne and the right hair mousse
  • Become conscious of everything, your looks, your habits, and even your behaviour
  • Are walking on eggshells thinking that every single thing you do – can make or break their opinion of you
  • Are not ready to reveal your not-so-pleasant side to that person just yet and want to put your best foot forward

But the dating and relationship difference becomes really obvious once that stage of extreme consciousness has passed. People in relationships don’t care about ‘bad hair days’ or ‘no makeup days’ or their go-to person seeing them in sweats that don’t fit right. Being embarrassed in front of your partner is not scary anymore but it’s actually kind of funny. You become totally comfortable in your skin around your partner and that’s the beautiful thing about getting into a healthy relationship.

  • The level of emotional intimacy is different

Is there any difference between dating and relationship, emotionally? Absolutely, there is. It’s almost like the whole face of your equation changes, once you move on from casually dating to a committed relationship. You don’t expect the person you are ‘dating’ to come home to you with chicken soup when you have a bad cold. That is what partners in relationships do. They take care of you in your worst times, and they do it wholeheartedly. That’s essentially what happens when two people are meant to be.

One of the big differences between dating and relationships is that in the latter, you do everything to show someone you care and you actively make that effort. Your partner is there for you even when you most need it. When you go out of town, you know that someone will be waiting at the airport to pick you up when you return. When you really like someone, you go the extra mile.

  • Expectations bloom in a relationship

What does dating mean? You go on dates, have fun and sometimes even have great sex. There is less room for emotions, late-night conversations, and surprises in the dating process. You are hesitant to ‘expect’ certain things, out of the fear of being ‘clingy’ or ‘going overboard’. But the difference between dating and relationship tells you that in romantic relationships, you have high expectations from your partner and vice versa. You expect your partner to:

  • Spend most of their time with you, get you gifts, and even give you surprises
  • Introduce you to their friends and family members
  • Console you on the phone at the end of a long day
  • Accompany you to a party you’re not comfortable at

 

  • A shared future doesn’t scare you in a long-term relationship

The dating definition itself means you’re exploring/experimenting. There are no conversations about “us” because you like your dating companion a lot but you don’t see them in your world, yet. “Us” is not a word in the early stages of dating a guy. Let’s make that very clear when you ask about the difference between dating and being in a relationship.

It is just ‘you’ and ‘me’ as separate individuals who are only keen on exploring each other. You do not really talk about “where are we going…” because neither of you wants to answer that yet as you are just not sure and don’t want to make any major decisions too quickly.

But once the conversation crosses that line, a healthy relationship might be closer than you think. If you and I become “us” and “we”, then the answer to “Are we a couple?” is a solid “Yes”! Couples see their future with each other and that’s when you really don’t have to worry that your relationship is just a fling. And so, “where are we going..” is talked about with definite plans of action.

What is the definition of a committed relationship, you wonder? It’s when you don’t just look at the short-term. A real relationship involves planning on different things like:

  • How many children you’ll have
  • Which city you would like to settle in after retirement
  • Moving in together and sharing finances

 

  • Dating vs relationship —The girlfriend or boyfriend title

What is the difference between dating and being boyfriend and girlfriend? Well, those very terms right there are self-explanatory. You don’t need to wonder where things are going if you have got the title in place already. People who are exclusively dating don’t use tags like ‘girlfriend’ or ‘boyfriend’ for the other person. They just refer to you as a ‘close friend’ or ‘the girl I’m dating’ or ‘the guy I’m currently seeing.’

If you’re wondering what counts as a relationship, it’s when they introduce you as their girlfriend or boyfriend to their close friends and family. You are indeed a couple! You don’t need to rack your brain thinking about it or asking futile questions like, ‘What does it mean to be in a relationship?’ Defining your relationship in public is the cherry on top and is the last checkpoint for exclusive dating.

  • Dating is usually shorter than a relationship

When it comes to understanding the dating vs relationship difference, do note that healthy relationships have a chance to rather go on indefinitely. A casual relationship, on the other hand, is usually a shorter affair and not something that lasts over 6 months. If it goes on longer than 6 months, then it probably means that the two people involved are inching toward a committed relationship. But nobody in the dating phase, usually ‘dates’ someone for longer than that.

So if you two have been going out for a while now and are spending one too many evenings spending quality time, curled up on each other’s couches, it’s time to DTR (determine the relationship). Is the dating meaning really applying to your dynamic with them still? Or have you two crossed over?

  • In dating, you don’t know if they’re your soulmate yet

Let’s say you’ve just transformed from casual dating to exclusive dating. You don’t know if you could spend the rest of your life with them yet because, unlike movies, real relationships are difficult and romantic interest isn’t always about “love at first sight” and “made for each other”. It takes time to develop a true connection. When you are exclusively dating them, you are looking for signs you have found your soulmate because you need to understand and accept each other’s shortcomings.

How to tell someone is your person? You will get a feeling that they could be your soulmate or that “one great love of your life”. This is what separates exclusive/casual dating from a relationship because you know whether or not to spend the rest of your life with them in the latter.

  • The stakes are higher in a relationship

What is dating someone? What’s the purpose of dating? Sadie, an HR head at a media firm in Ohio told us, “Dating means that the pool is so wide and you can take as many dives as you like! You’re not really held down by one person and you can explore many things for as long as you like until you find someone worth being with. As long as it may feel sometimes, the dating phase is fun and allows you to make lots of choices, good and bad ones both.”

But when does dating become a relationship? When you put in gradual and consistent effort in one person toward one goal. If someone is meant to be in your life, you won’t cut corners, explore and gratify yourselves in whatever ways. How to love someone truly will come naturally to you. What to expect in a relationship after one year? Mutual respect, sacrifices and compromises. Being committed to someone means that one has to put effort more than anything else.

  • Dating allows for independence

The dating meaning entails that one can be as freely independent as they like. This is why a lot of people take their own sweet time to get into relationships. This is because they value their financial freedoms and all other freedoms far too much. It’s not easy to give up so much of your life and your routine for someone to that extent and that is the main dating vs boyfriend girlfriend difference.

What does it mean to be in a relationship? It means skipping your football game to accompany your girlfriend to a party. Or, taking leave from work to spend the day at home with your sick boyfriend. It is not just about sacrifices; it is about activities and even questions that build trust and eventually, a lasting partnership.

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Benjamin Mensah

By Benjamin Mensah

Benjamin Mensah [Freshhope] is a young man, very passionate about the youth of this Generation. Very friendly, reliable and very passionate about the things of God and all that I do. The mission is to inform, educate and entertain. Feel free to send your whatsapp messages to +233266550849 and call on +233242645676

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