Sadly, many Ghanaians today have embraced lifestyles far removed from our traditions. In times past, a young woman remained with her parents until marriage, preserving her virginity and undergoing puberty rites to signal readiness for the marital journey. Marriage itself was sealed through family agreements, after which the bride was formally led to her husband’s home to begin life together. Today, however, some seek to bypass marriage altogether, pursuing arrangements that mimic its benefits without its commitments.
The most common example is cohabitation—unmarried partners living together as though wed. This practice is rising rapidly in Ghana and worldwide. In the United States, for instance, the 2005 census recorded five million cohabiting couples, a staggering increase of more than 1,000 percent since 1960. Indeed, two out of three American couples now admit to living together before marriage. The concern is that cohabitation may gradually erode and even replace the institution of marriage itself.
Why cohabitation?
Global research indicates that only one in five marriages truly lasts. Human nature often seeks the easiest path, and many attempt to avoid the pain and disappointment of marriage by turning to cohabitation as a convenient substitute. In Ghana, sexual activity is beginning at increasingly younger ages. Alarmingly, one case involved a 30‑year‑old man impregnating two minors—one in class two and another in class three—after enticing them with pocket money. Meanwhile, many Ghanaians are delaying marriage, creating fertile ground for cohabitation to flourish as premarital sex and ‘trial marriages’ gain wider acceptance.
Traditionally, women in cohabitation faced the risk of being sent away empty‑handed if their partner died. Today, however, Ghanaian courts have begun granting such women rights to portions of their deceased partner’s estate under equitable principles. This legal recognition has become a strong incentive for cohabitation. For many Ghanaian women, poverty and dependence on their partners make cohabitation a way to secure shelter and basic necessities. In essence, economic vulnerability and shifting social norms are propelling cohabitation forward as a growing substitute for marriage
The man in turn gets free sex and domestic care. Partners have the chance to study each other in real marriage conditions. In Ghana, the focus of marriage is children. Many men and women stay together and make sure the woman is pregnant before marrying. Studies show 30 per cent of Ghanaian women are already pregnant before their marriage rites. Cohabitation gives you the convenience of time and place to get busy and make children. Cohabitation is not marriage or a commitment to marry. Partners are free to separate without legal or religious constraints. Some argue it is better to cohabitate than to be promiscuous.
The danger
Cohabitation restricts individuals to a single partner, who may not necessarily be the most suitable match. Often, men in cohabiting relationships become less inclined to pursue marriage. Such relationships are associated with lower sexual satisfaction, increased conflict, and diminished social standing. The common saying goes, “If you get the milk for free, you may not feel the need to buy the cow.” Additionally, statistics indicate that for couples who transition from cohabitation to marriage, there is over a 50 percent chance the marriage will end within two years.
What you must know
Cohabitation undermines the true purpose of marriage. Marriage is not something to be “tested” like a car to see if it suits your preferences. Such arrangements cannot foster genuine love. Ghanaian women should value themselves and embrace their dignity. If a man genuinely loves you, he should prove his intentions by fulfilling the responsibilities expected of him.
Never compromise on your worth. Let your partner honour you by marrying you before expecting the benefits that come with being a husband. Cohabitation can negatively impact partners, their children, and society as a whole. If you are considering living together before marriage, my advice is clear: don’t do it. It jeopardises your future marriage before it even begins.
