Sex is a topic that is so difficult to raise amongst people, especially in Africa. It is like a forbidden topic. People are either afraid to talk about it or they are shy to talk about it because they feel once people or someone talks about it means that the person is spoilt or wasn’t raised well.
Let me at this junction submit to us that notion or mentality is archaic. This our silence on sex education has led to a lot of our youth and children getting pregnant. Some do not trust their parents and so they tend to talk more to their friends who may even be as naive as they may be and give them bad council that always endangers their lives. They always shun away from their parents knowing that they will be judged by their parents.
Most of the time when parents and guardians hear their children talk about sex, they feel the children are on the verge of spoiling and have been learning from elsewhere…we must admit at this time that social media is doing a really great job at exposing our children or young ones to the wrong information. We can say on authority that most of the teenage pregnancies we see around are amounting from lack of sex education.
Children naturally love to explore and they will stop at nothing till they find out what exactly it is they need to find out. For example when you tell a young child not to go somewhere or touch something that is the exact thing that the child would like to touch just to see what will happen when they do. Educating our young ones on sex will go a long way to help the generations yet unborn
It’s never too early to start a talk with your child about sex. Talking about sex, sexuality and bodies from when your child is young can help your child understand that sex and sexuality are healthy parts of life. Having an open and honest talk when your child is young can make later conversations very easy as they grow. And these early talks will also lay the foundation for children to make healthy choices about sex when they’re older.
The key early message is that your child can come to you for open, honest and reliable information and that your child shouldn’t feel scared or embarrassed to ask you about sex and sexuality. Sexuality isn’t just about sex. It’s also the way your child feels about their developing body and it’s how your child understands and expresses feelings of intimacy, attraction and affection for others, and how your child develops and maintains respectful relationships.
To make sure our kids trust us and will be free to talk to us about these things, let’s first, find out what your child already knows about this topic. For example, ‘Where do you think babies come from?’ or ‘What have you heard about where babies come from? Secondly, let us correct any misinformation and give them the facts. For example, ‘No babies don’t grow in their mummy’s tummy. They grow in a special place inside their mummy, called the ‘uterus’; thirdly, use the conversation as an opportunity to talk about your own thoughts or feelings. Explain things at a level your child can understand.
It’s a good idea to use the correct names when you’re talking about body parts – for example, penis, scrotum, testicles, vulva, vagina. It’s OK to use pet names too. But using the correct names helps to send the message that talking about these parts of our bodies is healthy and OK. And if your child knows the correct names for body parts, your child will be able to communicate clearly about their body with you or people like doctors if they need to.
If you don’t know what to say, tell your child you’re glad they asked, that you don’t know the answer and that you’ll look for some information and get back to them. And then make sure you do get back to your child, or you could suggest looking for more information together.
Let us as parents endeavour to talk freely with and to our parents. If we don’t do it, they will be fed with the wrong idea which will eventually land them in trouble. Knowledge is power, let us give to pour children.
Written by: © Benjamin Freshhope Mensah
