Knowing the problem is half the solution. As soon as you become conscious and aware of the examples of manipulation in relationships, here’s what you need to do.
Practice empathy, but be willing to walk away
Know that there is nothing wrong with you. They are just projecting their damage on you. So be empathetic towards them.
My advice to us all is to look at an emotional manipulator with compassion because the fact that they cry or burst out at every argument may indicate that they are emotionally weak. In such a case, bring sensitive things up only at the right timing and when they are in the proper frame of mind.
A person like that needs support, understanding and respect towards their emotions. Their partner has to work around their strengths and learn to manage the weaknesses.”
“There is a red light when emotional manipulation manifests as arrogance, jealousy and taking advantage of emotions. If you feel like your feelings are being hurt, then that needs checking. So, empathy is not equivalent to overstaying. Be willing to walk away if this relationship is not helping you become the best version of yourself. Trust me, you will thank yourself later.
Trust yourself and those around you
That little voice in your gut that keeps telling you something is wrong? Does that keep reiterating that you deserve better? Do yourself a favour and trust it. Your instincts will never lead you astray. Also, take advice from your truest friends and family members to spot examples of manipulation in relationships. They know you and they know how well you deserve to be treated. Let them guide you.
“Look for the hallmarks of a healthy relationship: Intimacy, commitment, consistency, balance, progression, shared values, love, care, trust and respect. Listen to any alarm bells that go off in your head and listen to friends and family members who are known to have your best interest at heart. Don’t ignore them, no matter how much you would like to.”
Set your boundaries
If you are a gullible person and people often take advantage of your naive self, start taking a stand in life and learn to set emotional boundaries in relationships. People can only take advantage if you let them. Start being firm about what you want. It can be as simple as ordering the dish of your choice at a restaurant. It can be as complex as choosing which city to live in or what job to take.
Make your partner aware of what you can and cannot tolerate. And then, stick to those choices no matter what. They won’t dominate you if they see the conviction in your eyes and in your voice. For example, if you don’t feel like making out, just say it. That’s what love is – telling the truth, no matter how difficult it is.
Don’t try to play the game
Once you become aware of the examples of manipulation in relationships, do not stoop down to their level and start playing mind games with them. Know that this is endless and you will end up losing your heart and your soul, trying to outplay them. You are better than that. Be the bigger person, don’t lose your ground. It will become more toxic than it already is.
Seek therapy
Your partner is not the only one who needs therapy. You, in order to say “No” to emotional manipulation, need to unlearn a lot of things that you have been conditioned into believing, from your childhood and upbringing.
And only a licensed therapist can help you unlearn. They can point out the examples of manipulation in relationships, help you recognize if they exist in yours and what to do in extreme cases. Therapy can, in fact, help you in becoming a steadier, firmer and more confident individual, with a good sense of self-esteem and conviction. They, as professionals, can recognize your patterns and break years-old habits.
Emotional manipulation can kill your self-esteem and make you question your own reality. You may lose your original self and end up having trust issues. Your defences eventually get weakened and you become more vulnerable to further manipulation. But, remember, there is always a way out of this. Remember, that actions speak louder than words. Also don’t ever ignore your instincts.
Don’t forget that you are worthy of love and respect, always.
