Celibacy is the practice of abstaining from sexual activity. Although regular sexual activity might have some benefits for our cardiovascular system, there is no set amount of sex that is considered the “right” amount. Not having sex for a prolonged period of time should not have any negative impact on one’s health. The frequency of sexual activity naturally changes depending on various factors such as age, fluctuations in sex drive, and relationship status. It’s important to note that many people lead a fulfilling life without ever having sexual intercourse.
In a study by Trusted Source looking at data from 17,744 people in the United States, 15.2% of males and 26.7% of females reported having no sex in the last year, while 8.7% of males and 17.5% of females reported not having had sex for 5 years or more. The authors concluded that “sexless Americans reported very similar happiness levels as their sexually active counterparts.” In this article, we look at what might happen physically and psychologically when a person does not have sex for a long time and how it might affect people in a relationship.
A person may not notice any side effects of celibacy. People refer to not having sex for a long time as celibacy or abstinence. When someone does not have sex for months or years, they are unlikely to notice any negative physical side effects on their health. However, research shows that having regular sex can result in certain health benefits, including improved immune system function, reduced blood pressure, lower stress levels, and less risk of cardiovascular events.
It is possible to experience some of the physical benefits of sex through masturbation, such as reduced stress. Men can benefit from frequent ejaculation, whether it is with a partner or alone, as it can help maintain prostate health. A study conducted in 2016 found that men who ejaculated at least 21 times per month had a lower risk of prostate cancer than those who only ejaculated 4-7 times per month.
For females, frequent sexual activity — again, either with a partner or solo — can strengthen the pelvic floor muscles that support the bladder, improving bladder function and reducing incontinence and leakage. There is a widespread idea that having regular sex is an important part of a person’s emotional well-being. While this is true for some people, it is not the case for everyone.
When sexual abstinence is involuntary, some individuals may feel negative effects on their mental health. Conversely, people who do not feel sexual desire may find these feelings distressing. Not having sex when in a relationship can make a person feel insecure or anxious. Talking about these emotions can help remove any sense of discomfort.
Abstaining from sex is important for good mental health for some individuals. People may choose to abstain from sex due to various reasons like having a low sex drive, being asexual, or simply preferring not to engage in it. Depending on the individual and their situation, potential benefits of abstaining from sex include:
However, research reports that sex is a good way to relieve stress, which can boost a person’s mental health. According to a study that surveyed 10,429 women with low sexual desire, 27.5% reported that it caused them distress. However, among those who had a current partner, the figure was much higher at 81%. Some people may find that masturbation can reduce stress and anxiety because it releases hormones that produce a temporary mood boost.
Effects on relationships
Many people have fulfilling romantic relationships without having frequent sex. For others, regular sex can improve the health of their relationship. A 2015 study reported that sexual frequency was only an indicator of well-being when people were in relationships. They found an association between having sex once a week and higher relationship satisfaction. This satisfaction did not seem to change when the frequency of sex increased to more than once per week.
For some people, sex can improve communication and feelings of closeness. People who feel as though they do not have enough sex may worry that there is something wrong with their relationship or fear that their partner is no longer attracted to them.
In these cases, people can try other methods of improving communication and intimacy. Cuddling, kissing, affectionate gestures, and opening up to one another can improve the health of a relationship, regardless of whether it involves sexual activity. An asexual person may have little or no sexual desire.
Asexuality and celibacy are not the same.
Asexuality means that a person generally or never experiences sexual attraction and feels no desire to have sex. An asexual person may still engage in sexual activity, either alone or with a partner. Celibacy, on the other hand, refers to abstinence from sex for a specific period or forever. While asexuality is not a choice, celibacy can be a choice or the product of circumstance.
Asexuality is an identity, and it is a spectrum. Some asexual people feel no sexual attraction, while others occasionally have these feelings. Another distinction involves demisexuality — demisexual people feel attraction after establishing an emotional attachment to another person.
Some asexual people experience romantic feelings and a desire for a romantic relationship, while others do not. A person who does not have this desire is “aromantic.” Asexuality is a sexual orientation. Some people mistakenly believe that trauma or a mental health condition leads to it, but there is no evidence of this. Asexuality does not require a “cure.” No one should ever pressure another person to have sex.
Takeaway
There is no correct amount of sex to have, and the best frequency varies from person to person. Not having sex for a long time should not have negative health effects. There is no right or wrong way to express sexual feelings, as long as everyone involved is clearly consenting. No one should ever feel obliged to have sex. Avoiding sex will not harm a person’s health, and it may even be healthy. Anyone who feels concerned about low sexual desire or the effects of infrequent sex on their relationship can talk about this with a doctor or therapist. Medication, therapy, lifestyle changes, improved communication, and many other strategies may help.
