What are the most common reasons for divorce? Of course, this is a fairly subjective question because the reasons people get divorced are as diverse as the reasons they fell in love in the first place. However, some issues come up frequently among couples on the road to Splitsville – including conflict, infidelity, poor communication, incompatibility, and lack of romantic intimacy or sex.
Cultural shifts in attitude and behaviour over the past 75 years have helped to redefine both why and who we choose to marry. In turn, these shifting beliefs have also normalized and largely eliminated the stigma that once shrouded divorce. The idea of marriage as a lifelong commitment – often for the primary purpose of having and raising children – has changed significantly, gradually evolving into an emphasis on individual fulfilment and satisfaction.
Despite increased access to marital education, marriage counselling, and family therapy, divorce is an ever-constant reality in our society. Unfortunately, though, it does happen far too often. There are many different reasons why couples decide to call it quits, but some reasons are more common than others. In this article, we’ll take a look at six of the most common reasons for divorce. If you’re currently married or thinking about getting married, it’s important to be aware of these issues so that you can do your best to avoid them!
Infidelity
Infidelity is one of the most common reasons for divorce. When one spouse cheats on the other, it can be incredibly damaging to the relationship and often leads to a breakup. It’s the reason why the majority of billionaires and celebrities get divorced.
Lack of communication
Imagine a scenario where one spouse is constantly talking and the other one never says a word. This would be incredibly frustrating, and it’s no surprise that lack of communication is one of the main reasons for divorce. If you and your partner can’t seem to communicate effectively, your relationship is likely doomed.
A breakdown in the lines of communication is one of the biggest predictors of divorce. Couples who don’t communicate well cannot resolve issues together and tend to suffer more misunderstandings and hurt feelings than those who have learned how to resolve conflict respectfully.
Good communication is physical as well as verbal, and it is required for almost everything in a good relationship, including sex, a couple’s finances, whether or not to have children, areas of disagreement, and other sensitive topics unhappy couples deem too dangerous to discuss.
An inability to communicate turns problem-solving sessions into shouting matches, which will eventually kill love, intimacy, and respect in your relationship. To make it through the inevitable tough times, you must be willing and able to talk about what’s wrong or not working and decide together how to resolve these issues.
Financial problems
Money is often a source of contention in marriages, and when couples are struggling financially, it can put a lot of stress on the relationship. Thus the reason financial problems are one of the leading causes of divorce. That’s why before accepting a proposal, you have to ensure your partner has the financial capability you’re comfortable with.
Substance abuse
Personally, hard drugs are one thing I despise. So imagine how horrified I would be if I find out my partner deals in hard drugs. I would be out the door in a split second. Substance abuse is another leading cause of divorce, and when one spouse is addicted to drugs or alcohol, it can be incredibly damaging to the relationship.
Domestic violence
Domestic violence occurs across a wide range of forms from emotional abuse to physical violence, and it’s one of the leading causes of divorce. Yes, it could go both ways, but women are most often the victims. If you’re in an abusive relationship, it’s important to get out as soon as possible. You deserve better than that.
Domestic violence can include any act of tangible or threatened abuse – including verbal, physical, sexual, emotional, and/or economic abuse. In such a relationship, one person gains or maintains power over their partner via a pattern of abusive behaviour. This abuse can be directed solely at a spouse, or it can also involve one or more children of the marriage.
Opposing Values or Morals
There have been literal wars fought over differences in race, religion, nationality, and culture – and persecution based on all of these plus gender, sexuality, and even which political party someone supports. When two spouses have or develop opposing values and/or morals, and neither has the ability or willingness to see things from their spouse’s point of view, the marriage is likely to end in divorce.
She believes in a woman’s right to choose and he believes life begins at conception; his best friend is gay and his wife is homophobic; they fell in love despite their religious difference, but those differences are tearing them apart now that they have children. When you’re in love, you tend to overlook or rationalize red flags that your core values and morals are too different for a healthy relationship – but when the rose-coloured glasses come off, those differences make it difficult or impossible to sustain a happy marriage.
Marrying Too Young
A study from the University of Utah suggests that the perfect age to get married is between 28 and 32. This is because those who marry young most likely don’t fully grasp marriage. This could be a reason why a lot of young married couples get divorced. About 46% of couples who get married young get divorced. Also, 48% of couples who marry before they turn 18 are most likely to get divorced in 10 years, compared to 25% of people who marry after the age of 25.
Child-related issues
When couples are unable to agree on things related to their children, it can often lead to a divorce. This could be anything from how much time the kids should spend with each parent to disagreements about education and religion.
Remember that when you’re married, you’re not just marrying your partner – you’re also marrying their family. So make sure you’re on the same page about important child-related issues before tying the knot.
