Marriage is a very serious institution and must be treated with outermost dignity and respect. It is the only school that one receives a certificate before the start of the entire journey or course. Marriage from the days of old has been the only Institution that the devil seeks to use to destroy people and the world at large.
Did you know that marriage can either make or unmake you? Did you also know that your choice of partner goes a long way to affect you as a person your children…….in fact, your entire generation? Yes! Marriage is serious business and that is why people must take their time to venture into that institution.
As we talk about marriage, let us not forget that whoever we marry comes from a family and as such we must do well to dig into the background of the partner to be, so we don’t end with things that we may not be able to answer.
In our quest to marry, we must look out for certain qualities and features. Marriage shouldn’t be based on issues like height, colour as in complexion, ability to speak British English or even the tonation or general physique of the person. Marriages goes beyond all these things. You will hear most women wanting to marry a tall six-packed man who is rich and has the goodies in life but may I submit to you at this time that the institution of marriage goes beyond some of these things.
Equally, you will hear men say I want a woman that is heavily curved with a lot of boobs and ass… your children deserve better than that quality for a mother. In fact, your children deserve a better mum than a beautiful wife for yourself. Vice versa is the case as in the women too.
These are but a few things that one can look at when preparing for or considering marriage. You must first look at what you are bringing to the table yourself. Marriage is a two-sided affair that should be handled well. You must as a person know your self-worth before you look at the person coming into your life.
It is important at this time to also note the person coming into your life is only coming in to compliment you as it were and build together with you and not to complete you. This is one mistake that a lot of people make when they look at marriage.
Know that your happiness also does not depend on your partner. You must be self-sufficient on your own. Happiness is within and shouldn’t be dependent on the person coming into your life.
It is also very important to be careful what expectations one comes into the marriage as it turns into tears or disappointments. Know that the person you are marrying is not entirely going to be your main source of everything. People have their own weaknesses and as such we must be careful. We are all human beings… meaning we are still in the process of being, so do not put your eye… literally on another human being. God should be your ultimate.
Things like romance are something we should look at. Sometimes the clique may not be there and once it isn’t, don’t go thinking otherwise because u feel the fire with which the marriage started has gone down and so it means something else. Marriage has ups and downs.
In this vein, we must also know that you won’t always feel loved. Sometimes it will or may feel like the love is missing. At this stage, it will take commitments, and so if you don’t have this orientation or even psyche your mind and aren’t committed, the marriage may be headed for the rocks.
Look out for your partner’s family relationship because it is key. How a man treats the mothers and sisters is the same way he may treat you and how a woman treats the dad and brothers, the same treatment may be metered out. One must also look at how much the family of the partner is able to influence the life of the partner either in a positive or a negative way. That can also inform your decision.
You must know your partner’s finances and strengths. You should know what he or she can and cannot do so you don’t overburden them. Like it was earlier said, you should be self-sufficient so that you don’t end up being a burden on your partner.
It is good to know that conflicts in relationships are inevitable. As long as both of you are different backgrounds and grew up differently, conflicts are bound to come u and so be braced to go through that face and also be ready for constructive criticisms.
Run a thorough check-up on your partner’s health and know what health condition the person has and ask yourself if it is something that you can deal with your whole life. Should it transcend to your kids, is it something that you can deal with? Talking about this will boil down to the family background of the person if some illnesses don’t run through their bloodline or curses don’t run through their background.
You must discuss what breach of trust will mean to you and how that will greatly affect the relationship or the marriage at large. Discuss how you see the future and what you expect your future to look at on a larger scale or your long term future goal for your life and for your family.
These and many more are the things that one must consider and settle in their hearts and their minds before they look at getting married before they go and we hear ‘I have regretted choosing this partner, I should have chosen partner B instead of A’
In all our quest to get a good partner for ourselves. Let us seek the face and the counsel of God concerning the partner. Knowing that there is the will of God for our lives and our will. Let us always seek to have the will of God perpetuated in our loves other than ours.
May the Lord also give FRESH HOPE to all those that are in it already are losing it so that they may begin again with the help of God. Better to marry late and then marry the right person than to rush due to age and ignore the red flags and come back with the tag of a ‘divorcee’. No one dies out of marrying late. May the Lord help us in our endeavours.
Written by: © Benjamin Freshhope Mensah
