Someone will be tempted to ask if Pastors play a role in marriage and the answer to this is yes! They play a vital role in the marriage. Pastors are individuals that God through and by his own discretion has chosen and anointed to be the spiritual or leader of a person or group of people. These groups of people can be a church, fellowship, what have you.
In the bible, Pastors are referred to as the shepherds, as Christ is the shepherd and we are the sheep of his pasture. Now, Pastors are acting as the shepherds or the spiritual head for God’s people, known as Christians or followers. Marriage is a special institution that is at the heart of God. Bible says that marriage brings two people together as one. In fact, it is only marriage that grants people the right to become one flesh.
In marriage, when two people decide to marry and they belong to a church then they mostly decide to marry in a church. That is when the role of the Pastor comes in. We must note that the Pastor must be mature and also a highly confidential and prayerful person. The parties involved take the decision they have taken to the Pastor. It is the role or the duty of the Pastor to guide and counsel them in the decision they have taken.
The Pastor’s duty is to first of all help the two persons involved to pray about the decision that they have taken. Bible admonishes that there is the will of God for our lives and so in as much as the persons involved are praying, the pastor should help them to pray and seek the face of God in their walk.
Again it is the duty of the Pastor to counsel the parties involved in this walk. Most of the time the Pastor who will officiate the marriage or counsel the couple must be one who is married and has at least spent some good number of years in the marriage walk and has a good track record so that the grace that is upon his marriage can be transferred down to the couple.
It is important to also know that the Pastor must aside these roles also make sure that the couple stays in the marriage. The couple staying in marriage does not mean he must interfere in their marriage or remote control their marriage. Many men complain that their wives respect their Pastors more than them and let us admit that; THAT IS TOTALLY WRONG! The Pastor is your spiritual head but it is also important to know that the man is the head of his family and as such he is the priest of his home. Men must know their place as the head and priest of their home and learn to take up their role in that regard.
In helping the couple to stay married, the Pastor’s role of counselling should not end. From time to time the Pastor can organize marriage seminars for the couple as a refresher course sort of. This can be either for the new couple or by extension all married couples in the church.
From time to time the pastor can also preach sermons on marriage and how to live and stay in the marriage to the whole church. In situations where both couples are not in the same church, the Pastor can organize retreats for couples and the other partner that isn’t in the church can be invited to attend. Most people like the smaller churches because it is believed that the smaller churches make time to check on their own. In small churches, you may get the Pastor even having the numbers of almost all the members of the church and so is able to check on them and help with things they can assist with.
Let us at this time be reminded that Pastor’s duties end at certain points. Pastors can only counsel and advise but they are not supposed to force things down the throat of the couple. They can advise and counsel the couples, but taking action or acting upon the advice or counsel is dependent on the couple.
The Pastor can also make friends with the couple and sometimes pay a visit to their young home to check how things are going. Again the advice is that this must be done with or by a matured Pastor not just any random Pastor because the last thing that most people want is getting their marital issues out there. A lot of men do not like this.
We must as and when necessary, involve the Pastor’s wife. She can also play the role of talking to young women or women in the church about how to manage their homes. Again the emphasis is on a matured Pastor’s wife. All these roles will go a long way to help the couple stay in the marriage.
Marriage is work and people in it, especially the young couple must get the right counsel and people around them. They must get the right resource personnel and their Pastors must be in the position to. May the Lord help all marriages to stand and make them a testimony unto His own name! May all those that are in marriages that are bleeding and on rocks find FRESHHOPE today and receive favour and grace from the LORD.
God bless!
Written by © Benjamin Freshhope Mensah
