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Tips for dating in the digital age

Online Dating

Romantic relationships can begin anywhere. There are many online dating apps like Tinder, OkCupid, and Bumble, where some singles connect to achieve a common goal; finding love. Interestingly, these apps allow users to browse through different matches and most of these websites help to connect people with similar interests, which makes it more fun.

Imagine being in a relationship with someone you have never met but share preferences and hobbies with. Most people are lucky to land themselves into marriage through these apps. However, some people are not that lucky to find themselves their prince in shining armour; instead, they get into trouble or fall victim to bad experiences.

Dating in your 20s can be a challenging and confusing time, especially in the digital age. With the proliferation of dating apps and websites, it can be overwhelming to navigate the world of online dating and try to find a meaningful connection. However, the digital age also offers many opportunities for connection and growth. By following some key tips, you can have a successful and fulfilling dating experience in your 20s.

  • Understand the purpose of the app

These apps are not dating apps, per se. “All they do is introduce you. That’s all they do,” Fisher said, adding that she prefers to call them “introducing” apps but jokingly admits the term probably won’t take off. “And then it’s incumbent on you to go out, meet the person. And the human brain is — we are — built to try and figure out who somebody is.”

  • Set limits for yourself

Online dating is almost nothing like a typical night out on the prowl. At a bar, a man might size up the room before letting his gaze settle on the thirty-something brunette with a welcoming smile and sparkling eyes. If he approached her and managed to strike up a conversation, he could take in her nonverbal cues–such as her gestures, posture and gaze—as he tried to make her laugh.

If he were instead reading her profile on an online dating site, he would have learned that she plays board games on the weekends, works as a pastry chef and loves horror movies. A connoisseur of art-house films still tormented by a childhood viewing of, he might have already clicked past her.

With the carrot of romance always dangling a mouse click away, the temptation to scan—and cavalierly dismiss—dozens of profiles is strong. We all value having options, but too many can undermine our ability to make good decisions. In one experiment, people who viewed 20, rather than four, online dating profiles were more prone to misremembering the information in those profiles. In a second experiment, as the number of profiles grew from four to 24 to 64, users switched from time-consuming choice strategies that attend to and integrate multiple cues to lazier strategies that superficially examine few elements and do not combine them effectively.

These cognitive biases are hard but not impossible to counteract. Remain aware of how many profiles you have scanned in a single browsing session and impose a time limit. View profiles in manageable clusters and consider reaching out to, say, one out of every 20 users. Keep in mind that behind the profile is a flesh-and-blood human.

  • Monitor your mind-set

People tend to evaluate romantic prospects differently depending on how they encounter them. Many studies in nonromantic domains have demonstrated that people are inclined to prioritize different qualities when they compare multiple options side by side—referred to as a joint evaluation mindset—than when they size up one specific possibility in isolation, known as a separate evaluation mindset.

Browsing profiles of potential romantic partners is also likely to trigger a joint evaluation mindset and cause users to overvalue qualities that are easy to assess but unlikely to determine compatibility. Indeed, traditional online dating profiles are chock-full of details that tend to be largely unrelated to the hard-to-discern, experiential characteristics that promote relationship well-being. Levels of education or physical attractiveness, for example, can easily be assessed through a profile, whereas rapport and sexual chemistry can only be evaluated face-to-face.

To be sure, all dating involves some degree of assessment. The side-by-side evaluation of countless online dating profiles, however, seems to invoke an especially strong assessment mindset regarding the general pool and an especially weak locomotion mindset with respect to any single person. We recommend taking a moment to imagine what it might be like to talk to the person behind the profile face-to-face. Mentally simulating a social interaction is likely to make you less critical and more motivated to consider possible ways you might be compatible.

 

  • Think of reasons to say ‘yes’

Resist the tendency to remember the negative over the positive. “The brain is built to remember the negative,” Fisher said, calling it a survival mechanism. “So when you go on these introducing sites and you’ve just met somebody, you have very little information about them. So you overweight the information,” she said. “And you’ll say to yourself, ‘Ah, he likes cats and I like dogs. (It’ll) never work!’ Or ‘Ah, she’s wearing those bizarre brown shoes. I could never introduce her to my friends.’” “Try and think of reasons to say yes,” Fisher said.

  • Don’t hurry, be happy

Take the time to learn about yourself as well as prospective partners. “Every single part of the life cycle is slowing down,” Fisher said. “Childhood has gotten longer. Young adulthood has gotten longer. Middle age has gotten longer. And senior life has gotten longer. They are spread out.”

Members of Generation Z and millennials have pushed marriage later than previous generations, giving them time to discover who they are, what they want and what they don’t want, Fisher said. She called this process “slow love.” “They’ve got this long period of ‘slow love’ in which they’re trying (people) out,”. “As it turns out, the later you marry, the more likely you are to remain together. The longer you court, the later you wed, the more likely you are to remain together. And that’s exactly what we’re seeing.”

 

  • Know what works for you

“Online dating” is a misnomer. What happens online is the meeting. The dating happens at bars or coffee shops or sporting events or state parks—at the same places where people who meet offline go on dates. Once you go on a first date, you can assess your level of attraction to the other person. If there’s a spark, you can play it out. Maybe it will be a short-term tryst. Maybe it will be happily ever after. Once you’ve gotten to the first date, the rest is up to you (at least until you’re ready to dip back into the online pool to search for somebody new).

Some aspects of online dating services are marvellous. Dating sites provide access to potential sources of romance that might otherwise be unavailable to their clients. They can transcend geographical and social network boundaries to an unprecedented degree. These benefits may be especially powerful for those people who need it the most—including those who are socially anxious, who have recently moved to a new city, or who have demanding schedules that limit opportunities to socialize.

Online dating sites offer a unique opportunity to bring happiness into the world. Despite some flaws, the dating industry is still young and has the potential to improve as it incorporates the latest relationship science. With skillful implementation and rigorous techniques, these sites can help millions of lonely people find love.ve.

 

 

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