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“Three groups of people you shouldn’t discuss your marital problems with.”

Traditional Marriage

Marriage is a journey that has its ups and downs, and seeking support during tough times can be crucial. However, it is essential to exercise caution about whom you confide in when sharing your concerns with others. Here are three groups of people with whom you should approach discussions about marital problems carefully. Lets take a look at some of the marrital problems that are faced by married coupples.

  • Infidelity

Infidelity is one of the most common marriage problems in relationships. The most recent data suggests that about 20 percent of interviewed men admitted to cheating on their partner compared to 10 percent of women. It includes cheating and having emotional affairs. Other instances included in infidelity are one-night stands, physical infidelity, internet relationships, and long and short-term affairs. Infidelity occurs in a relationship for many different reasons; it is a common problem and one that various couples are struggling to find a solution to.

Infidelity can happen when the connection in your relationship is not strong and can cause a breakdown of trust. Research reveals that maintaining a strong emotional bond, sexual intimacy, and respecting boundaries are the three key ways to combat infidelity in your relationship.

  • Sexual differences

Physical intimacy is indispensable in a long-term relationship, but it’s also the root cause of one of the most common marriage problems of all time, sexual problems. Sexual problems can occur in a relationship for several reasons paving the way for subsequently more marriage problems. Studies reveal that sexual compatibility, along with sexual satisfaction, was cited as the most crucial factor in determining relationship satisfaction for couples.

The most common sexual problem within a marriage is a loss of libido. Many people are under the impression that only women experience issues with libido, but men also experience the same. In other instances, sexual problems can be due to the sexual preferences of a spouse. One person in the relationship may prefer different sexual things than the other spouse, making the other spouse uncomfortable.

  • Values and beliefs

Certainly, there will be differences and disagreements within a marriage, but some differences are too significant to ignore, such as core values and beliefs. One spouse may have one religion, and the other may have a different belief. Differences in values may lead to an emotional chasm, among other common marriage problems.

As you may have guessed, this could cause significant trouble when one spouse gets tired of doing things separately, such as going to different places of worship. Such marriage problems are widespread in cross-cultural marriages. Other differences include core values. These include the way children are reared and the things they were taught during their childhood, such as the definition of right and wrong.  Since everyone does not grow up with the same belief systems, morals, and goals, there is much room for debate and conflict within the relationship.

  • Life stages

Many people do not consider their life stages when it comes to a relationship. In some instances, marriage issues occur simply because both spouses have outgrown each other and want more out of life from someone else. Growing apart with time is a common issue among married couples who have a significant age gap, whether it is an older man and younger woman or older woman and younger man. Personalities change with time, and couples might not remain as compatible as they once might have been. Couples with an age difference who are in different phases of life face this common marriage problem.

  • Values and beliefs

Certainly, there will be differences and disagreements within a marriage, but some differences are too significant to ignore, such as core values and beliefs. One spouse may have one religion, and the other may have a different belief. Differences in values may lead to an emotional chasm, among other common marriage problems.  As you may have guessed, this could cause significant trouble when one spouse gets tired of doing things separately, such as going to different places of worship.

Such marriage problems are widespread in cross-cultural marriages. Other differences include core values. These include the way children are reared and the things they were taught during their childhood, such as the definition of right and wrong. Since everyone does not grow up with the same belief systems, morals, and goals, there is much room for debate and conflict within the relationship.

  • Life stages

Many people do not consider their life stages when it comes to a relationship. In some instances, marriage issues occur simply because both spouses have outgrown each other and want more out of life from someone else. Growing apart with time is a common issue among married couples who have a significant age gap, whether it is an older man and younger woman or older woman and younger man. Personalities change with time, and couples might not remain as compatible as they once might have been. Couples with an age difference who are in different phases of life face this common marriage problem.

  •  Jealousy

Jealousy is another common marriage problem that causes a marriage to turn sour. Being with them and around them can become a challenge if you have an overly jealous partner. Jealousy is suitable for any relationship to an extent, as long as it is not overly jealous. Such individuals will be overbearing: they may question who you are talking to on the phone, why you are talking to them, how you know them and how long you have known them, etc.

  • Lack of attention

Humans are social creatures and are avid seekers of attention from others, especially those closest to them. Every marriage, over time, suffers a common relationship problem, ‘lack of attention,’ where a couple, intentionally or unintentionally, redirects their attention to other aspects of their lives. Lack of attention changes the chemistry of marriage, which instigates one or the spouse to act out and overreact. This problem in marriage, if not dealt with appropriately, can then spiral out of control.

  • Selfish behavior

Even though selfishness can be efficiently dealt with by making minor changes in your attitude towards your spouse, it is still a widespread marriage problem. A big part of being in a relationship is melding your life with another person and their priorities. Couples often find this transition difficult as collective priorities can clash with personal ones, which can cause problems.

  • Ignoring boundaries

While it is okay to point out certain things that your partner can improve about themselves, it may not be the best idea to pester them into changing too much or overstepping boundaries they have set. This can become a marriage problem if not checked in time.

  • Emotional infidelity

Infidelity can be of various types. However, the one that mostly comes to light is physical infidelity – when a partner has physical relationships with one or multiple people outside the marriage or relationship. However, emotional infidelity is when a partner develops romantic feelings for someone other than their partner. Emotional infidelity can also become a marriage problem since feelings for someone else can damage your marriage or relationship.

Now, lets take a look at the group of people you shouldnt discussed your marrital probles with.

  • Your parents

It’s common for parents to care deeply about their children’s happiness and well-being, and this may lead them to become protective when it comes to their relationships. While they may support your partner, it’s important to avoid sharing intimate details about your marital issues with them, as this can lead to lasting resentment. Even if your parents offer genuine advice, they may find it difficult to forgive your spouse for any wrongdoing, which can ultimately strain family relationships. It’s important to carefully consider the long-term implications before involving your parents in your marital challenges.

  • Your single peer group

Sharing your marital problems with friends who are not married can be tricky. While they may mean well, their advice might not be rooted in the complexities of married life. Individuals who are not in committed relationships may offer opinions based on hypotheticals or personal biases. It’s crucial to remember that every marriage is unique, and what works for one may not apply to another. Avoid turning your marital issues into a group discussion, especially with friends who lack firsthand experience in navigating the intricacies of married life.

  • Your pastor or religious leader

While seeking spiritual guidance is valuable, involving your religious leaders in the early stages of marital challenges may not be the most prudent decision. Discussing your problems with them might inadvertently turn your private matters into public discussions, especially if you attend a close-knit religious community.

Unless the situation has escalated significantly, consider resolving issues within the confines of your relationship before seeking external counsel from religious leaders. This approach can help maintain the privacy of your marital concerns and prevent them from becoming subjects of public discourse during religious gatherings.

While seeking support during challenging times is natural, exercising discretion about whom to confide in is crucial. By avoiding discussions with your parents, single peer groups, and religious leaders in certain situations, you can protect your marriage from potential fallout. It’s essential to prioritize open communication with your spouse and consider professional counseling when needed, ensuring a healthy and constructive approach to resolving marital challenges.

 

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