FRESHHOPE

There is hope for the future.

Things you need to consider before getting into a relationship in the new year

First Date

Starting a new relationship can be exhilarating, but it’s important to take certain factors into account before diving in headfirst. While the prospect of beginning anew with someone else is certainly alluring, it’s essential to consider the potential challenges that may arise. Take the time to properly evaluate your situation and make an informed decision before jumping into a new relationship.

Someone you like and enjoy spending time with feels the same way about you. Is there anything that feels better than that? Even if both parties are on the same page feelings-wise, it’s still important to maintain decorum; no matter how into each other you are, there are still some right and wrong ways to begin any new relationship.

Of course, it’s totally natural to feel intense passion and attraction for the person you’re seeing, but being so enraptured may cause you to ignore potential red flags, such as the misalignment of your core beliefs and values.

Make peace with your past

The past should remain where it belongs which is in the past. The mistakes you made in your previous relationship shouldn’t be brought into your new one. Make peace with what happened, forgive yourself and move on.

Make sure you are ready to get into that relationship

It’s one thing to want to be in a relationship and another thing to be ready to be in that relationship. It’s important to know that you are willing to be fully committed in a relationship.

Timing

Timing matters when it comes to getting into a new relationship. If the two of you have busy work schedules and can’t seem to make time for each other then it maybe the new relationship can be held off.

Your individuality

When getting into a relationship it is important to maintain your sense of individuality. Your significant other loves you for who you are so it is important to make sure that you be yourself throughout the relationship. Change is inevitable and is great if it’s for the better.

Don’t Skip the Sexual Health Conversation

“If you aren’t comfortable asking them about STDs and STIs or telling them about your sexual health, it’s not yet the time to have sex,” Campbell admits. Wait until you’re both comfortable having an honest conversation about health before becoming intimate. That way, you’ll be able to enjoy it more and have a bit more confidence in the relationship.

Do Watch Out for Red Flags

Campbell says that ignoring red flags only prolongs the inevitable demise of the relationship. If, say, your new love criticizes you, makes plans, and repeatedly cancels, you catch them in a lie, or you see them treating others poorly, “they’re probably not worth investing in for the long-term,” she notes. Trust us, it’s easy to throw on a pair of rose-coloured glasses when you really like someone because you want to see the best in them, but it’s important to see all of someone, not just the good things.

Do Maintain Independence

Spending every waking moment with a new partner can put you at risk of losing yourself and your friends, too. “In the most long-lasting relationships, partners maintain their sense of independence,” says Campbell. “See family and friends, continue to exercise and work hard, and prioritize alone-time; balance is important.” If you make your whole life about your new partner, you end up putting a lot of pressure on the relationship to be your sole source of happiness and fulfilment.

Don’t Be Close-Minded

“Try to remain open to trying new foods and participating in new activities,” Campbell advises, “The start of a new relationship ought to be light and fun, and things can become more serious with time.” With that in mind, maybe keep the conversations about highly controversial topics to a minimum in the beginning.

Do Respect Yourself

Treating yourself well sets an example of how your partner should treat you, and it signifies what you will and will not tolerate. “There’s nothing wrong with being principled, knowing yourself, and being yourself,” Campbell offers. “Do things for yourself, too.” If they call you with an impromptu date invitation, but you need a self-care night to put on a face mask and snuggle with your furry friend, suggest a different day for date night.

Don’t Have Sex Too Soon

We live in a time of sex-positivity, meaning we don’t believe that you should wait until a certain amount of time goes by before having sex with your new partner for the first time. “The amount of time to wait before having sex differs for every couple; there is no such thing as too soon or too long. The right time is when both people are 100% ready,” Campbell discloses. The worst thing you can do in a new relationship is to have sex before you feel ready because you’re worried they’ll lose interest in you if you wait.

Do Communicate Often and Well

“Say what you mean and mean what you say, be direct and considerate, choose battles wisely, treat your partner well, and avoid destructive things like yelling, insulting, and judging,” Campbell says. You may notice that you feel like you can read your childhood friends’ minds because you know them so well, but that kind of closeness comes with time and, unfortunately, years together is the one thing you and your new partner don’t have. You can’t expect them to be able to guess what you’re thinking, so be as communicative as you possibly can.

 

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