You often hear people say, I was raised by either mum or dad, this is usually so because you find either the daddy died, leaving the woman alone, she got pregnant and the man abandoned her or the woman left the marriage leaving the kids with their dad or the woman died and the dad decided to take care of the kids alone without a woman.
Because of these, either party becomes a single parent. Single parenting is when one party only tries to raise the kid or kids because the other is absent. Single parenting is a tough task. As part of this task, the single parent must act as both the mother and father, naturally, it’s not easy for a woman to play both characters. There are certain things one does naturally that others cannot. Some parents, ie single parents are graced! They play both characters well.
But truthfully, it’s not easy. A child that is raised by both parents has the opportunity to see certain real characters come to play, the child can distinguish between mum and dad. Single parents deserve a lot of applause, they do such a great job! There are soo many challenges that come with this development, among the challenges include loneliness. Loneliness for single parents is real, it eventually leads to them being frustrated.
Sometimes taking up both responsibilities and raising them is hectic, especially for a woman who is carrier women, they have men who probably don’t support them, they sometimes send their frustrations on the kids. Hence you see a mother or a single mother shouting and beating their children at the least provocation because they feel tired and stressed with all the happenings around them.
Again, children get affected in so many ways, they turn to question the way the family or regular home should be because they get their friends who speak of both parents. They start to ask questions and they sure need answers, these children sometimes get negative emotions like low-self-esteem issues, isolations, bitterness and sometimes resentment.
The children also loose a sense of security among their peers. Parenting alone can give kids the wrong notion in dealing with them, the single parents tend to use dictatorship in instilling discipline in their children. Single parents sometimes suffer discrimination at work, church or their environment, the notion that all single mothers are a product of divorce or illicit affairs, makes people treat them with discontent.
They get judged without knowing the real story. Due to added responsibilities, stress levels are high and it sometimes affects people, relationships or even friendships around them. All because they feel they are alone and no one understands them.
Many single mothers always put the needs of the kids first and forget to even care for themselves, they forget that failure to care for themselves will and can worry even their health and will eventually affect their children. Single mothers go through quite a lot to raise their children and need all the support from friends and family.
We must also acknowledge women or men who are married, yet raise their kids alone because the other partner always is busy. Such ones also need a lot of emotional support. Some women make themselves so busy that their husbands end up doing all the wifely duties plus the daddy ones.
Such men need to be hailed, they are doing such a great job and vice versa. Single parenting is not a crime, whether one got into it by choice or circumstance. However it is, let us all learn to bring positive energy or vibe to such ones.
A helping hand, a smile, words of encouragement will go a long way to push them to keep up doing the good work. You have no idea what it takes to be a single parent. Just be kind and give a shoulder to such ones. It pays to be nice.
God bless all our single parents and keep them alive to smile at the end of the day!
Written by © Benjamin Mensah