Infidelity breaks the very foundation of marriage i.e trust. Once you indulge in intimate relations with another person, there’s no going back. Or, is there? In most cases, the person leaves or divorce their spouse because the latter has cheated, but some people believe in giving second chances. No matter how heart-breaking it is, there are people who forgive and try to save their marriage post their partner’s extramarital affair. It takes an incredible amount of guts, trust and confidence to revive a broken marriage. But there are ways in which you can save and reinstate love in marriage post an extramarital affair.
Critically analyse the issues:
Most extramarital affairs happen because there of ardent issues in a marriage. Lack of emotional or physical intimacy, the stress in marital or work life are only some of the many reasons why couples drift apart. Such issues may seem easy to resolve but actually aren’t. It’s necessary to discuss every bit of those issues be on the same ground.
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Stop blaming each other
Blaming your partner and vice versa will only make it worse. If the affair happened due to issues in the relationship, then it falls on both you and your partner. Blaming each other would only intensify the hurt and frustration you hold against each other. Who did what should not matter, but the urge to resolve it, should.
Recreate memories
This may seem hurtful if you’ve just experienced betrayal and heartbreak from your spouse, but recreating your memories together can rekindle lost feelings of familiarity, love and togetherness. If you revisit the fondest memories of you both together, it will help you both look towards the brighter side of the relationship i.e the love you happiness you both used to share and can share once again, with efforts.
Heal from negative emotions
It is vital to recover from your own negative emotions before taking a step to revive the marriage. With all the negative thoughts, frustration, anger bundled up together, it’s not wise to fix the relationship before fixing yourself. You know what they say, ‘you have to love yourself enough first to love others.’
Don’t bring up the affair
Once you both have decided to move on from the past, there should be no looking back. Even while you both try to reinstate the love and care between you both, fights are bound to happen. And that’s when one might unintentionally blurt out frustrations of the affair. Remember that you’ve decided to give this a second chance so stop trying to think about the affair, especially during arguments and fights.
Consult a therapist
If nothing work between you two, it’s now time to consult a professional marriage therapist. They will surely give you proper advice and therapy lessons on how to connect with your partner after a huge issue like an extramarital affair. The therapist or expert will help you both to process the feelings in a healthy and positive way, thus paving the way for an easier second chance.
