“What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me no more.” When we love someone, mistakes are sometimes made. We may say things that we regret later because our tongues cannot be controlled in time. However, when anger seems to be in our blood, how can we continue without letting it destroy our love? Here’s how:
- Know your anger
“Have you ever wondered where your anger comes from? Is it something that just arises from within you? The truth is, it’s not. There is always a reason behind every negative emotion that we feel. It may be difficult to contemplate, but it’s important to figure out the source of these emotions. Understanding where they come from can help you better deal with them. So, take some time to reflect and figure out what might be causing your emotions.”
- Ask yourself questions
All of these questions lead to answers (and maybe more questions) that will bring you to the root of the ire. Examples of those questions are:
- Who is making me angry? Myself or someone else?
- Did I remember any particular hurt from my past?
- What is the current environment like?
- What was I talking about?
- How do certain works affect the way I feel?
“Imagine the anger within you as smouldering coals at the bottom of a fire pit. These coals represent past trauma or hurt. When someone does something that reignites those coals, the anger resurfaces. It may not always be as intense, but it will remain until the healing process or time has cooled the flames.”
- Let love control the flame
“In order to calm the vengeful flame dwelling within you, it’s crucial to not ignore your anger. Accepting and loving yourself is the first step towards reducing hate. Additionally, it is helpful to find someone who will love you for who you are. This person doesn’t necessarily have to be your significant other but can be a patient and virtuous guide who can help you control your anger. By following their example, you can learn how to manage your anger effectively. If that means attending anger management classes or taking a spiritual path, don’t hesitate to do so.”
Anger can often be a result of unchecked anxiety. When anxiety takes over, your heart rate increases, adrenaline surges, and you may become unreasonably angry. It’s important to manage your anger, and this can be done in two ways. First, love and accept yourself for who you are. Secondly, you need to find ways to relax.
Seriously, I did not say your guide needs to be “chill” without a reason. Simple relaxation techniques can actually soothe angry emotions when done correctly. For example, you may visualize something that makes you feel warmer and safer. This could be lying in a field of dandelions with the sun gently caressing your skin or the trickling of water over stones. Breathe deeply, filling your chest with nurturing breath.
It’s important to avoid hyperventilating when you feel angry. Otherwise, you may lose control and turn into the Hulk. Anger doesn’t have to be overwhelming or destructive. Often, it’s a result of misunderstandings or unaddressed emotions. To manage your anger, try to identify the root cause of the issue. You can talk to someone who understands or seek answers on your own. Remember to stay calm and take deep breaths. Once you accept what’s happening, you can cultivate more love and positivity.