A hunter may stand still for a long time, squat, kneel or even crawl on his belly to capture his prey. After this, he may put it in a cage and worry only about how to keep it healthy. Nothing describes many Ghanaian men better than hunter-zoo keepers.
Some Ghanaian men trying to woo a woman will do everything to show they are lovable; they will wait patiently, visit often, send gifts, call often and take the woman out almost every day.
After capturing her, especially through marriage, he puts her in a ‘zoo’ and worries only about meeting her physical needs. He suppresses his emotions and will hardly express his love for his woman.
The affection, dates and companionship disappear. He loves his woman’s hairstyle, dressing and make-up but pretends not to notice it. Then he shifts to his work.
If the little things he did made her woman happy then he must do bigger things to take good care of her. His focus is to work hard and provide for his woman.
If a man focuses too much on his work he tends to forget his domestic details. Some even forget their women’s birthdays. If the woman complains the man thinks he makes his wife unhappy and in a man’s mind the only way out is to stay away and work longer to provide for his woman.
The more a woman complains, the longer the man stays away to work and build his self-esteem by what he achieves. Consider the case of a young couple who had a romantic courtship.
After marriage, everything disappeared and for four years the man never took the woman out. When she finally complained the man kept quiet for some time and asked a simple question: “Mary have you ever seen a politician campaigning after winning elections?”
Many Ghanaian wives are lonely and frustrated because they do not find their men when they need them most. They get worried, jealous, insecure and bored.
They can’t relax and enjoy themselves even in the midst of state-of-the-art luxuries at home. Some feel imprisoned and tired all the time even when they do nothing. Some regret and think they married the wrong partners. Many are tempted into infidelity.
Today there are countless stories of wives of big men who are sleeping with their house helps, drivers and security men because ‘body no bi fire wood’.
A man must draw a good balance between work and marriage so that he makes time for his woman. Give your woman the topmost priority and make time for her. Always remember that the single most important attraction in marriage is the time you share.
Companionship builds self-esteem, security and peace of mind. Your intimacy improves with the amount of time you share with your lover. Time together promotes bonding. Marriage takes togetherness to succeed.
Find time just to talk. Talk about your interest and plans for the future, childhood memories, love stories, politics and jokes or ‘toli’ in town. Talk of your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats.
Talk of your sexual life. Dialogue to have your feelings and thoughts heard and understood. Speak the truth always and in love.
Broaden your sphere of interest. Try new hobbies and activities. Go out often. Take a walk and drive to places you have never visited. A drive away from town will enrich your marriage. Take her to social functions and sit close by her. Make your woman feel special before friends.
Do symbolic acts of service. Hug, hold hand and touch your woman often because physical touch calms anxiety, transfers courage and alleviates stress, depression and blood pressure.
Have at least a meal together in a day. Eating together is a simple way of keeping in touch. It gives you the opportunity to relax and bring you physically close as you share your thoughts and plans.
A good relationship is the best thing in the world but to make it work and enjoy its amazing benefits, you have to work at it. This starts with making time for your woman. Today, there are many cases of young and unemployed men sleeping with wives of rich and popular men because these rich men are never around and keep their women lonely.
Sadly many big men think a good house, cars and money are all a woman needs to be happy. They are ignorant of the fact that women need companionship and affection above everything else. The good news is that for women, the little things are the big things.
Your little acts of romance, affection and fun times are all you need to get the best out of her. Then you can be fully charged to do your best in all you do. Your woman needs you to be happy and make you happy.