BRINGING UP CHILDREN, THE RESPONSIBILITIES OF THE PARENTS.

Children are a gift from God, when life gives you the opportunity to be a parent, grab it as though all your life depends on it. Raising children or a child is a ministry on its own. When God gives you that opportunity, thank Him and perform your responsibilities well towards the lad or kids. God saw you worthy of raising the child or kids.

Your failure means you have failed not yourself, the society but God and you will surely answer to Him. Let us put this at the back of our mind that, two individuals came together to produce a child but it takes more than two to raise or bring up the children. The upbringing of a child is a social responsibility as well, for example, though the mother and the father are or maybe raising the child, in their absence to say work or travel, someone else assumes the role. 

Bible said, we should train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is grown, he will not depart. Children between 4 and 12 are most likely developing and forming characters. It is the responsibility of parents and guardians to make sure the right values are inculcated in them. When you inculcate in your child the acts of saying “thank you, I am sorry”, it goes a long way to open doors for them. 

People like respectful and appreciative children, parents and guardians must teach upcoming children to be obedient to the elders, their parents and even to their peers. We must teach the children to at all times speak the truth. Sometimes, it’s rather funny, how the parents even teach their kids to lie before they grow up.

An example is when a parent owes, the debtor comes to collect their money and we tell our children to say “mummy and daddy aren’t home”. Most often, we do this even without explaining to the child our reason for asking them to do that.

In bringing up our children, we must endeavour to raise them in the fear of God. Once a child is raised the Godly way, a lot of things are right in their lives. It is actually the foundation on which we must build the future of the child. A person that has the fear and principles of God instilled in them, fear to even go wrong in life. Parenting never ends, it is a continuous affair.

Children are fond of having their way to a lot of things, let us know and note that, when we allow them, they will become spoilt brats! Some parents feel they must raise their children in a particular way. An example is raising a child to have his or her own way in a lot of things, in their choice of food and all.

I know of a story of a child who had the way in all. He determines what he eats, even controls the TV at home, one day there was a gathering with elders sitting and watching TV and discussing, the young boy of about 6 years came to off the TV, all because he does that as and when he wants and the parents don’t complain.

Until he did that in front of people, he screamed out loud and said, he wanted time alone and some quiet so he wants to off the TV. The parents felt ashamed as everyone thought it was an act of disrespect. We must train the children to know when they have to stop, let them know their boundaries. In raising a child, let us also educate them in all areas, most parents in our part of the world, especially Africa finds it difficult to educate our children on sexual issues. 

Hence, the children tend to learn on their own in ways and through bad mediums which creates problems for them. It is okay to love your children and want them to be your best friends but in so doing, let us mind what we say and do before them.

Relating to your children as your co-equal and talking things her age shouldn’t be talking or hearing is bad. Let us not hesitate to correct the children when we ought to, by all means necessary.

Bible admonished that, foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of discipline “correction administered with godly wisdom and lovingkindness” will remove it far from him [Proverbs 22:15 AMP]. Significantly, we must correct the children in and with love. Abuse is surely not a way to bring up your child. It rather makes children aggressive and stubborn. Sometimes, they grow with the mentality that, it’s ok and even transfer to their homes when they grow. Parents must boost the child’s self-esteem. 

Let us also set the limits and be consistent with our discipline. Children need a lot of time and attention, which parents must be ready to give otherwise, they will get it from the wrong places. The parents in bringing up the children must be good role models themselves to the children. We as parents must be flexible and willing to adjust our parenting styles.

We can’t be that strict all the time, the kids will hide stuff from us. Showing them unconditional love will also go a long way to affect them positively. Let them learn to communicate well with you, let us show love by pecking them, hugging them and playing with them. Let them have a strong sense of attachment with you. All these make them put up good behaviours. They end up becoming good people, they are filled with love and so they are able to give out love. 

Provide them with a lot of security, they must feel safe and sound. Try hard to meet their survival needs, shelter, food, clothing, medical care and protection from harm. Never fail as a parent to know the friends of your children and possibly their families. Be interested in their academics and what interests them. When parents do all these to their children from the early stages of their lives, accompanied by prayers on their lives, they have no option but to be the best for themselves and make their parents proud. 

Let us re-emphasize that, children are a gift. We owe them the responsibility of taking care of them, raising them in a godly way. We are answerable to whatever and however, we raise them.

God trusts us well enough, hence He gifts us with kids, let us cherish our kids do our best in their upbringing. God bless all parents and gift parents with the knowledge and wisdom and all the resources and expertise to help raise them.

 

Written by © Benjamin Freshhope Mensah.